A
female
age
36-40,
*ysteriousgirl
writes:I know this guy since childhood. Family friends and he is 5yrs elder to me. We went to the same school but after he finished his schooling we haven't met much; hardly once or twice. I have always liked him and he is like my favorite since I was kid. He treats me like his sister since I was too young to him. All this was like some 7 - 10 years ago.Now I'm 22 and he is 26 .. he is in USA for the past 6 years. I have been in a very serious relationship (4 years) with another guy who broke up with me 2 months back.Okay .. now I have met this childhood friend in December after all these years when he came to India. (while I was still in d relationship with the other man). I was too excited to meet him and so he seemed. we met over coffee, we didn't talk much, just a bit about our childhood and what we are doing now. But all the while we kept smiling and looking at each other. Then he dropped me home and on the way he told me that he is very proud of me for what I am today and that he could not pursue his dream (career wise) and that he had to compromise for his parents and told me that he is very happy for me. But I have a feeling that he still treats me like his Sister :(I asked him if he had been in any relationship and he said NO. then I told him about mine. He asked me if its possible for him to meet my now ex. Actually he was leaving town that night so we had to rush up things and he met my ex only for few mins. He told him that he should take care of me and marry me soon. Then before he left he hugged me. All the while he was taking care of me, holdings hands in crowded places etc ..After that day, he stayed in India for few more days but in a diff city. In the mean time my boyfriend broke up with me and I was so depressed as I couldn't live without him even for a min. I told this childhood friend about the break up cos when we met he told me that he ll be there for me if had any problem. Then we kept messaging constantly every day. And trust me I'm not the messaging kinda person and so he says. But I have enjoyed messaging him and was too excited. He used to call me occasionally.I always thought I would break down if my ex left me. But this childhood friend did the magic! And somehow I don't think of ex much. and I kinda fell for his childhood friend. Because every time I talk to him I'm all happy no matter how depressed I was earlier. I have never felt so happy and complete even when my relationshipNow this childhood friend went back to USA. We chat over Google talk and he still calls me, whenever free and we talk for at least an hour. He told me that if he does not call me its only cos he busy and not that he is ignoring me. He also told me he doesn't want me to get disappointed in him. when I ask him why is it so, he would not tell the reasonI'm so happy and excited whenever I talk to Him. I share all my confusion with him and he come up with such lovely solutions. he gives me a lot of hope, inspiration, confidence. the way he takes care of me.he calls me at least once id 2-3 days .. and I enjoy him calling me .. we discuss a lot of things .. mostly he very keen only clearing my confusions if any .. I tell him everything about myself except for how i feel about him. he doesn't say much about himself on his own.I'm really happy that he is taking care of me and is there for me. He is very mature, understanding and caring. I can see in his actions that he behave like a grown up. I'm starting to develop feelings for him and I'm seeing a future with him. I'm also sure it wouldn't be a problem with our families.But what I fail to understand is if he loves me or just taking care of me like I'm a little girl. If he calls me regularly does that mean he loves me, otherwise I don't see a point as to why he should call me . I talk to him because he inspire me and had helped an lot without him knowing it .. he means a lot to me.I kind of told him I love him but he told me he respects me and adore me like little girl he knows in school. Is he hiding his feelings or is that how he really feels? Because once when asked about him loving anybody, he said he doesn't want to fall in love and hurt his parents because they expect him marry someone they see for him (these kind of things happen in India, so don't think he is hiding something or he had some past relationships).. also I feel he might be telling he doesn't like for this reason that his parents might get hurt.I'm already so much into him. But I'm ready to take NO as an answer. I can wait if he needs time or if he is not sure of his feelings. All I want to know is if he loves me or is he in path of falling in love with me. or he in already in love and just doesn't realize it .. or is he hiding them for his parents.I love him so much and I'm so happy every second i spend with him.So please help me .. also lemme know if u need to know more info/clarity ..p.s: The long distance is not a big deal for me actually. I can handle it. and moreover I will be going to USA for my masters next year..
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broke up, confidence, depressed, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Well, being like a sister is not being a sister. You didn't spent every day of your childhood together as brothers and sisters do. So you can't expect the exact behaviour.
When he says he likes you like a sister he means he isn't sexually attracted to you. It's a platonic love.
A
female
reader, mysteriousgirl +, writes (21 February 2011):
mysteriousgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo how will I know if he is actually hiding something or not
..
Somehow his actions and words dont seem to match ..
he tells he gets bored very quickly and doesnt talk for more than 20 mins with his friends .. but to me, we always talk at least for 40-60 mins .. and not like its a one sided conversation and Im jus dragging it .. and if thtz the case, he wouldnt call me daily ..
and he calls me mostly before going to bed, when he gets up ..
even now he still calls me the same way .. he z not irritated/ angry/ trying to avoid me ..
his affection, care and love are still the same ..
I dont understand hw can someone like or care for their sister SO MUCH! .. is that really possible .. ??
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (21 February 2011):
Well, even if you don want to believe that. It doesn't mean it isn't true. The question here is whether you feel he's hiding something because he's actually hiding it or just because you won't accept he doesn't like you that way.
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A
female
reader, mysteriousgirl +, writes (21 February 2011):
mysteriousgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him ... He says he likes me a lot but its only like a lil girl and that it ll be same forever ..
but why is that I dont wanna believe what he is saying and feel he is hiding something .. ?
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (18 February 2011):
I guess he sees you like his sister. Which doesn't mean he can't change that. But there is only one way to know that. And of course it takes a lot of courage to do it.
There is a mental thing with people who were raised too close from a young age. Which prevents them from having sexual desire for each other. That's what happens to brothers and sisters. The reason you don't find your brother/sister sexy has nothing to do with the fact that you share de same DNA. In fact, the same goes for step-brother/sister, as long as they are raised together from young. And that can be something that can explain his behaviour.
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