A
female
age
51-59,
*rotman68
writes:Would you say that a man loves you when he walked out of your life for 5 months. He promised that one day you would both be together, but his wife tried to kill herself and he found out and went back to her. so he just walked out of my life and no contact at all for five months. You then take him back but you don't think he could love you because you feel that you mean nothing. I would be interested in your views.Is this possible, his love was true?orwould you say that love never took place?Have you been through something like this? if so please let me know your story. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 His first mistake was staying for the pregnancy, he could have got out then..then sorted out visitations right after the divorce was finalized. But like so many, he decides to stay because he feels obligated to make it work for the child. The child will see all of this when he/she gets older, when his/her parents could have spared them from this the beginning. Much, much harder to deal with the older you get. Secondly, if his wife is truly suicidal and tried to off herself in front of her son then he should have sought professional help or called 911..He reports the incident, gets his wife help..can send her divorce papers in the mail and take his son because he should have never been subject to this all along. I see him able to get out..but the real question is why doesn't he?? Does he still love his wife? Maybe. If it was about his son, then he would take his son away from this crazy wife. Her suicide attempt would be enough to grant him sole custody.
Meanwhile, his secret lover is enduring 5 months of hell thru harassing phone calls and waiting for him ever so patiently. I still say, if it was true love he would do everything in his power to go forward with a divorce and give himself to his secret lover. Like I pointed out, he can get out, he just doesn't want to.
A
female
reader, trotman68 +, writes (11 November 2010):
trotman68 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I know what you are saying tennisstar88. Iv only explained a little bit as its so long winded. Yes I would say the same thing. This person still has contact this time around and seems sincere. I know we have heard that before . This man was ready to walk out on everything, his wife had cheated on him a few years beforehand, she got pregnant, they stayed together but things were never the same. He only has one child and he worships him. His wife tried to over dose in front of his son and so he felt that his son would blame him if she had succeeded or blame the women he was seeing. The wife knew she was losing him and started to use his son against him. The wife even called the other women and told her that she had the one thing that her husband would do anything for and that was his son.
The wife and her mother even made up stories, saying that her husbands lady friend had travel a long long way to knock on the door to cause trouble and this would effect the son. His mother in law called the third party up and still calls there from time to time and gives the third party a hard time, she has even told her that they have moved away and that she was just a cheap fling and that women like her should be given to animals for food.
The wife knows that he doesn't love her and knows that he wants to leave. Sometimes her phone will go and she can hear them all sitting for dinner and talking about things, this is done of purpose.
The two people in question here, have a good friendship going and even though they no longer see each other in a sexual way anymore, the third party person is scared to tell him what has been happening because she doesn't want to make trouble for them. She just wants him to be happy and believes that she has caused to much pain already and believes if he loved her, he would have never been able to hurt her the way he did.
When I have spoken to him and asked him why he could hurt her this way if he truly loved her, his reply was because of his love for her, he felt that because of the situation, by walking away from her, she would get on with her life, he couldn't live with the guilt of his son hating him, if his mother had killed herself because he no longer wanted to be with her.
He also says that he still loves the third person and says that there is no other way at the moment. He claims that it was the hardest thing he ever done was walking out of her life and says no matter what he would never do it again and will always be part of it, but at the time he felt it was for the best, but obviously he was wrong.
I think like yourself but was intrigued by the situation. I know both of the people in question and I am actually believing now that maybe it is possible for a man to be able to do this.
What do you think, now you have a little bit more background on the situation? maybe I am to close to them both to give my honest opinion.
I would be interested in your views please get back to me.
Thanks again for your honesty on this.xx
Look forward to hear from you.xx thanks again.xxx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (28 October 2010):
A married man walked out on his affair because his wife tried to kill herself? How can he promise you will be together again one day? Can he tell the future? You may be waiting for that one day until end of time. So he's back I'm guessing his wife didn't off herself, who's to say he won't go back if she tries that stunt again? Will you hang around and wait 5 more months?
Honey, if he's got a wife another life, and he walked out of you for 5 months only to resurface, I see no love here. If he truly loved you then he would divorce his wife and fully be with you.
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