A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ive been seeing a guy for about 3 months, I have fallen in love with him, but he does not know. I think he feels the same way, but im not sure. He recently told me he was moving out of state for about 2 months to straighten out his life, when I told him not to tell me when he leaves, he got really quiet for along time. It looked like he was doing some heavy thinking, what does it mean when someone gets really quiet like that? Does he love me to and just doesnt know how to tell me? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, let me be more specific, I met this guy a couple years ago and became good friends, we started seeing each other, but with no expectations from each other. Meaning, he didnt want a relationship, nor did I. As the months went on, he became more affectionate and considerate towards me, even around his closest friends. I stay at his house alot, and we have been intimate several times. But when I leave his house, he calls me all the time wanting me to come back. We can be together without the sex and still enjoy eachothers company. He had plans to leave town before him and i even got together. the reason why I told him not to tell me when he left is because it would be hard for me to say goodbye, especially right now when this is all so new. His actions speak so loud to me, from when we first started seeing eachother, he has changed and everyone around him has seen that change, for the good.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): Just an added comment: Male anon, below brings up an great point and I have to say, I agree with him. If this guy of yours is in love with you as you hope..then really...absolutely nothing could take him away from you! His actions are very telling and if he's making plans...sadly, that could be the answer to your question where you asked if he loved you or not. Sorry, to say that but I think you both need to talk and you should try and see where he wants this relationship to head.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): I have no clue if he loves you or not. Usually when a man goes quiet like that, it means he heard something, he didn't want to hear or was not expecting. Most of us do that, we go quiet, suddenly when we are taken aback. Maybe you need to explain your 'reply' that you made to him, in more detail to me. "don't tell me when you go" could be interpreted as "if you leave me, we are done and I'm moving on" Is that what you meant? I'm thinking it isn't what you meant..
But that's the 1st thing I thought, when I read those words of yours, so that's the way I am interpreting those words. Could he be misinterpreting your words, as well. I would think at your ages, one would be saying, "If you move for 2 months, I would still like for us to keep dating. Can we make plans to remain in contact and travel to see each other" That's the adult, rational, sensible way to discuss this, isn't it. I know. I know. It's risky but is shows maturity and character. Just boldy cutting to the chase and just asking. So why don't you just sit down with the guy and ask him, where he wants this relationship to go and ask for his honesty. But the way to show him, what a wonderful, good woman you are, is to be straight forward and honest yourself. No more innuendos, wordplays or mindgames. Leave all that to the teens..you both are adults...just sit and discuss this maturely and truthfully, what you both want from this relationship. And whatever he says, you will have to accept.
I am in your cornerhere, hun..and I hope it's great news. And even if it's not..accept his answers graciously and exit this situation, with a ton of classiness and dignity. After all, that's what us ole gals do best! Good luck and take care.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): In this economy, most people can't just pick up and leave out of state for a couple of months unless they have some place to go like family, etc. Are you sure you have the full story on this guy? Why two months, what's that about? It sounds like he wanted to tell you something but more along the lines of something not good or something that may make you rethink the whole deal. I'd actually be pretty suspicious. Keep your head on straight because right now, you are romanticizing everything.
There is a possibility he was testing to see how serious you are about him and what your reaction would be if he were to leave, but it's an odd way to do that. Are you sure he's not in any trouble or are you sure he's not married?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): He got quiet because that was a very strange thing to say, I wouldn't know how to respond either! If he's moving out of state by choice to figure out his life, he's probably not in love with you because the last thing a guy does when he falls in love is take a leave of absense. Don't you think it's odd he's leaving when you just started a new relationship? I would wonder why he was taking a step back.
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