A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I really need help! Im seeing this guy who is already in a relationship. I've been seeing him for a year now and im in complete awe of him. I know its wrong and not a day goes by that i dont make me feel guilty but i cant help my feelings for him i tried to break it off and we did split 4 2 months but i just get drawn back to him. The problem is he is 11 years older than me and i know if we were closer in age we would be together but we want different things in life at the moment. We are in love with each other and just connect so well. I have tried to see what the relationship does for me but everytime i look at it i just feel happy and warm. However sometimes i feel devastated because i know he is with someone else. The only reason we arent together is that he wants children now and im not ready. Does he love me? I don't know what to do please help!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): I see questions like this all the time. Move on.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 all these reasons you have given for you not being together are just excuses and ways for you to reassure yourself. this guy is never going to leave his gf - he is enjoying the best of both worlds and is taking advantage of your age and the fact that you love him. the reason your not together is simple - he doesnt want to be. im sorry to sound so harsh but all these reasons he is giving you are just ways to keep you around and happy. if he really did love you and want to be with you - he would. he is a cheater and is acting like a prat. do you really want to waste your love on someone that is never going to be wholly yours? my guess is no. move on hun, and find someone who is ready to be completely committed to you, someone you dont have to share!!! you deserve that and you know you do. so stop falling for his lies and leave him. good luck hun, email me if you want more help xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2008): Hi, i have to agree with Basschick! What a cad! He is having his cake and eating it also. He is having sex with both of you so why are you with someone who is already with someone else? what do you hope to achieve from this one? How can you feel happy and warm, when he is with someone and doing all the things that he does to you, or maybe even more. Sorry, but i think you should run like hell and get yourself a bloke who is single and free and able to treat you right. Dont go through life being second best, because right now that is just what you are. Also some blokes love to be seen with a younger girl on their arms, bit of a trophy bird, so dont be that stupid and move on.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (29 February 2008):
 The reason you aren't "together" is because he is having quite a nice time banging two women at the same time. Why change that? It has nothing to do with your age. It has nothing to do with kids and everything to do with you being involved with a cheater, who seems perfectly content with the way things are. Every man's fantasy! Come on honey, how long do you really want to keep sharing him? It's time to cut the tie with this man and move on! If he really wants you, he'll get out of the other relationship and be all yours. And don't you deserve that??....
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