A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:It's been a while since I diminshed contact with my ex husband. However, we were seeing each other for some time on and off. I still had feelings for him. I'm unsure if he had feelings for me. The story is that I confronted his new girl friend about him and I having sex behind her back. I know it was wrong but I couldn't control my urge in letting her know. He got mad and she was off the wall. Both of them mocked me, I cursed them out, weeks later he calls to see me again, I definitely declined and ever since I hate him. I am just wondering if his treatment towards her is better than how he treated me? I often wonder if he preferred her over me? Would he give her the same bad treatment he gave me? I mean he cheated on her with me? vice versa i guess. What you guys think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, He has been wanting to return to me, calling and even giving me phone calls at late hours of the night. He's been telling me repeatedly how sorry and embarrassed he is to be with her. I don't take his stories, but it feels good to know and feel his regrett, eventhough he might still be with her, it feels great to hear him apologize and still want me. He and I are divorced, if I'm meeting some one he is always trying to get in between whatever I am doing. He tells me that he is with her but feels so empty inside and that he will never take her seriously. I don't really care because I am moving on with my life. I just feel sorry for her. He tells me he will never loose interest in me. He's been calling me behind her back,trying to see me and even buying me gifts. To the point where I am getting concerned and sometimes scared. I am gone through him but it seems he is not. I just wondered if he loved her more than me being that he was both of us at the same time. But his actions after that confrontaion was surprising. I allowed him to express himself but it didn't mean i would return although i get tempted. I feel sorry for the other girl because he has been expressing himself poorly of her. He tells me she serves him and that's what he wants. I can't be with a man who belittles women and I find it extremely gross.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): Wow one of my closest friends has the exact same story as you. She and he ex husband had an affair when he was with someone else that lasted several months. She told her (I believe thinking the girlfriend would leave) but it didn't end their relationship. They are still together and they are now married.
I know where you are coming from. She would ask the same questions. Does he love her more than me? Does he really want to be with her? Is she his soulmate or was that me? It was very hard for her and it took many years for her to move on. I still don't know if she has.
I'm sorry if this hurts but since your situation is so insanely close to my friends I'll tell you what I saw in what happened. I don't believe your ex loves her because he cheated on her. But, I'm so sorry to say this, I don't think he loves you either because he used you for sex when he was with another woman. If he truly, truly loved you and wanted to continue the relationship he would have broken it out with her and came back to you. He is a selfish person who has two women in his life that are willing to put up with his awful behaviour. So when you ask if he treats her better I would say no he doesn't BUT he has chosen to stay with her. He clearly isn't treating her like an angel, but being someone who has seen this up close, their relationship can still go on after him cheating.
I really hope that you can see that he is not a good man. Even after you told the girlfriend, he stayed with her and tried to come back for sex with you. He just wants what he can get.
If you are asking if he buys her roses or gives her backrubs or that kind of thing? Obviously only they know. But I think the important thing to focus on is that they are still together. I think you are having these questions because even though he cheated on her, he stayed with her. And I'm sure those months he was with you made you think he might come back. Him staying with her says alot to where his mind is. He can have silly motives for staying with her like not wanting to find a new place to live but he is still with her.
There is hope. My friend married again and her new husband treats her better than her old. He doesn't do all the lovey dovey stuff the old one did. But he is with her. He has chosen to stand by her. And that says so much more than any of the things her ex did.
Sweetheart, I hope you can find real love cause using his actions to decided your own worth is never going to interpret it correctly. Just cause some is willing to be cruel, it doesn't mean you deserved the cruelness.
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