A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So there is this guy I met at work and we have been hanging out for a couple months now. At first I thought he really liked me, we hang out by ourselves all the time, he is really sweet and we get along so well. Every time we hang out he gives me all these compliments, pays for everything and at the end of the night these really nice long hugs and almost seems like he wants to kiss me. Other than that he has not made a move. I talked to him about a month ago and told him I liked him and was curious how he felt. He said he just wanted to be friends. And I was ok with that. But the hanging out, flirting, etc. continued after the conversation and even got stronger. He still never tried to kiss me or anything but I feel like it was getting to that point. A couple days ago he had a party and asked me to come. I couldn't make it I had other plans. Well, I find out he hooked up with this girl at the party and now he supposedly wants to see where things go with the 2 of them. He only met her at the party, never knew her before, and were both drunk. And now He is actually bringing her out on a date!!! I feel like if I was at the party we would have hooked up and I lost my chance. This was a couple days ago. Then a couple days ago we hung out again on his boat and went star gazing. There were other people there but he made sure to come over to me and cuddle up next to me on the seat and lay down with me very closely and intimately to look at the stars. The whole time we were chatting like normal and I swear I felt the connection once again. But at the end of the night... still no kiss, nothing... So when I got home I texted him and asked him whats up and he still says he just wants to be friends. I don't understand this!!!! If he is interested in me why doesn't he make a move, if he's not interested then why is he acting like this, and if he wants to date this other girl (which he told me himself that he did) then why is he doing this? I feel like if I was at the party something would have happened, and the only reason this girl is in the picture now is because I wasn't there. Besides everyone telling me he is a player, can someone please help me get things back on track with us, how do I get him to make a move with me and forget about this other girl? I have gotten previous advice from here as well as close friends and They all said that I should just accept the fact that this guy just wants to be friends and move on. So I thought I would take the advice... But then we hung out again last night and watched a movie. I thought I would try to do what everyone suggested and treat it as if I was just hanging out with any other friend, I sat on separate couch and everything. Then in the middle of the movie he came right out and said "so are we going to sit here like strangers or are we going to cuddle?" So for the rest of the movie we spooned and cuddled on the couch. He even rubbed my hand and played with my fingers. And I even felt a little "movement" down in his crotch... which seems to me like he was turned on. Then at the end of the night... just the normal long intimate hugs as normal and nothing else. WTh!!!! Does he just want to be friends? Is he just scared to make a move? Or is he just playing games?
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 July 2012):
 This guy i must give him credit seems to know how to naturally attract women n make them chase. Its possible hes immature n wont state how he feels about u so he plays these little games. So he got drunk n shagged a brod is that classy? No. You dont deserve to be in that other girls place. What he did was typical n irresponsible. If i were u i wouldnt latch onto him. See other men but not to gain more attention from him. Do it for utself n what u want. Good luck sweetie.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): Sounds like this guy is a complete tease. He very well knows how you feel about him, so he is just using that and completely getting away with it since you are giving him the attention. Do you know much about his relationship history? As some of your friends have suggested, he could be a person who doesn't take relationships as seriously as you. The biggest clue that this could very well be true is that he hooked up with a "complete random" as you put it. Seems like he is enjoying getting attention from you with no strings attached. You can't "make" anyone want to be with you. If you cannot hang out with him as a friend without reading into things then I say ditch this guy. It'll be a lot of heartache for you if you can't stop your feelings getting in the way.
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