A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Any body language experts reading? I've recently met a man at work and feel a powerful attraction to him. My instinct tells me he's interested too, but to be sure, I've been trying to read his non-verbal body language. He is a very self-assured, in control kind of man, speaks with confidence, except for one thing--when he pays me a compliment, he seems to get really nervous. He looks away from me and sometimes fidgets with objects nearby. He acts almost like a much younger guy just starting out with women even though he's 43. I will add that this usually happens right after I've given him a compliment. So I am wondering if he is nervous because he's just making up something nice to say, or if he just might have a case of "courtship nerves". Anybody have any insight? Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): Thanks Dearkelja for answering. I hope you're right about the tongue-tied part! I get along great with this man. He makes a point to come and find me, we have great talks, and always with eye contact. He pays attention because he will mention things I said 2 months ago (and how rare is that?). We have exchanged many casual compliments, but when he pays me a "strong" compliment he always looks down at the table and starts fiddling with objects, acting nervous or shy, and that is not his normal nature. I guess I'm really wondering if he is sincere--I have always heard that acting nervous can be a sign of insincerity. I do think he has just come out of a long-term relationship. I hope your guy comes around too!
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (31 December 2007):
 I think he is tongue tied. This is typical of many guys, even older ones. It could be he is unsure of himself, unsure of a relationship with someone at work or completely inept at these kinds of things.
Do you always compliment him first or has he ever started anything? Does he look you in the eyes when he talks to you. Does he say your name when he talks to you? Is he interested in you, what you do?
I have a similar thing going on and I asked the guy out for coffee via text a couple of months ago. He didn't respond to the text but seemed to want to continue to flirt and build upon a relationship but he just isn't ready for more. He's a 33 year old guy who doesn't have much experience with relationships. He's told me he liked me and that I always look nice. I've told him the same back. It's been tough getting things going though (6 months and counting). We talk alot and he is fine with all of that but he turns red when he says things like "it is really nice to see you" or "I've missed you."
My advice to you would be to encourage him along but let him take the lead. I think by me taking the lead that it set him back a bit so now he's building back the courage. Don't make the same mistake.
Let me know how it's working out...I hope your deal doesn't take as long as mine is taking.
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