A
female
age
36-40,
*lsieMay
writes:I met my boyfriend last year, via a mutual friend. We were introduced online (3 way convo on msn) and after 1 month, we decided to meet up. We got together two months later and have, so far been a couple for nearly a year. my problem is this; after waiting 10 months, he still can't tell me he loves me. I fell for this guy almost instantly and, quite honestly, I haven't fell this hard in love with anyone before. I told him how I felt about 2/3 months in to the relationship because I couldn't contain how I felt about him, yet he still seems a little reserved, Also, our relationship has always been an LDR (Me in one place, and him in another city)which I have found quite difficult. There's also a possibility that he'll be moving to another country for a job, so any chance of us movig closer together or seeing more of each other will either be prolonged even further or quashed. He has said that he doesn't want to lose me, that I mean the world to him and that he would like us to try and stay together for as long as we can so that we can have a future together. But how can that happen when I haven't heard him tell me that he loves me? I can't wait for him to decide as I have things in my life which I need to be getting on with (career, family). I've asked if I can go with him to that other country, but he says, as my language skills for that country are not very good, that I'd be better of staying in England. Besides this major problem, there are lots of little things about him which also add to the frustraion of how I feel. For example; he doesn't text me during the day to see how I am or even to say that he's thinking of me, when he calls he doesn't like being on the phone for too long becuase of the phone bill (he is currently unemployed)and he sometimes makes me feel really bad about a) calling him or b) myself. Is it possible that he has commitment issues? What should I do? Any feedback would be greatly appeciated. Thank-you
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 Heh...I would skip over entirely his reluctance to tell you he loves you. This whole thing can be summed up in your offer to move to where he is, and his excuse for you not to.Your relationship is doomed. If he were truly in love...if he were truly eager and had making a life together with you his goal, he would have either said "YES! That would be great!" or if there was a legitimate reason, he'd find a way to make it happen.He's not serious about you, nor is he looking at you for a future. Don't be strung along anymore. It's extremely possible that he's cheating on you...or worse...that he's cheating WITH you on someone else who is local.Either way, your relationship is not ever going to have a future, I'm sorry to say. :(
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