A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend of 5 years and I kinda like him ever since we first met. He is an amazing guy and I would love to be more than just friends, but even though we are close, and there is some tension, he never actually said he likes me or he never tried to kiss me on the lips (cheek kisses, hugs etc are common but nothing sexual except really we-are-just-friends-questionable dancing in the club). I'm reaaaaly shy and Virgo as well so it's hard for me to go out with my emotions first. It would be amazing that my friend man up and do something because most of our common friends think that he likes me. But since he is not doing anything specific, I think I'm friendzoned. :(Does guys keep their female friends so long so close because they really want to be just friends or because they like them? I heard lots of different opinions so I'm really curious about that one.I have a lot of male friends but it always turns out that either we know each other since we were babies so we are like siblings or they want to date me. This scenario happend to me couple of times. I really like being friend with guys but yeah, this is what usually happens. One of them told me that male/female friendship doesn't exist and since I'm cute, intelligent, lovely and polite, guys would always wanting to be more than friends. So, why is that that this guy who really really makes me happy and who I love (not just like) doesn't do anything? Btw, I'm 21, he is 22, we are both in the best university in our country)I sound like a stupid teenage girl, but what can i do? :DPs, sorry for possible bad spelling/language mistakes, english is not my main language. :)
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (25 May 2013):
 My friend had girlfriends too, though I don't think they were sexually active.
If he's had girlfriends and isn't asking you out, then perhaps the sad fact is that he doesn't fancy you in that way.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): He's not gay. He had girlfriends before and I'm pretty sure he is into females absolutely. :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 May 2013):
I had a friend in college exactly as you describe here. He was so handsome and lovely and I was deeply attracted to him.
He had a big secret though, and I didn't learn until after graduation that he was gay. He loved me as a friend only because he wasn't attracted to me.
We are still good friends to this day, though!
Maybe your friend is gay too? Just a thought.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): I think women mistakenly think that men only want to be friends to sleep with women because they don't understand something about men.
For men, friendship and romantic attraction are not two opposing forces. They are not two different roads. Unlike for women, where one road or the other usually gets chosen very early in the relationship and its very difficult to change roads later on.
The result is that men's romantic feelings are capable of GROWING the longer they are platonic friends with a woman. It means that men are much more prone to ending up romantically attracted to their female friends over time, regardless of the original feelings or intentions when they first met.
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A
male
reader, fzald +, writes (23 May 2013):
Depends on the circumstances. I have one close female friend. She was my best friend's wife. He died of cancer. We have remained very close friends. But it would be quite awkward for us to date, plus we are not really compatible as lovers, but we make great friends.The other female friend I had as a close friend for a while is now my girlfriend. We were friends for well over a year, and then we started to spend a little extra time together. I always had feelings for her, but I was nervous to make any moves until she made it clear she also had feelings for me through her actions, flirtation and everything. Sometimes, yes, guys can be just friends with girls. Other times, guys hope friendship will be a precursor to a stronger relationship.Even other times, a guy is close with a girl and has feelings for her, but is afraid to bring it up. He might not want to ruin the good friendship by turning it into a relationship. He might be afraid of rejection. If you want to know if he has any feelings for you, sometimes it's best if you make the move. Start showing him a little extra attention. Flirt a bit. See how he responds. If he responds positively then yes he may have feelings. If he continues to remain "friend-like" and even rejects your flirtation then maybe he truly does see you as just a friend.Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 May 2013):
 We like to keep them handy as a "fallback" .... in case the new model doesn't work out to our satisfaction....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2013): It's a hard to tell, but mostly guys do have affection for their female friends so friendship is not really just friendship.
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