A
female
age
36-40,
*Lindy87
writes:my best friend and me have decided to see eachother, we're involved but we don't have the title of boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I guess my question is 'does every relationship have to have a title?" let me explain, we call what we're doing 'best friends with benefits" but the way he described what he wanted sounded to me like a relationship he said "i don't want this to be only about sex now, i want to take you out, spend more time with you, and only sleep with each other" so we just don't have the title...to me that sounds like a relationship. both of us have walls up around us though, him especially.he was in the military for four years and he had been single for the last four years, even sexually, and his last relationship he was burned badly (cheated on while he was away fighting). his trust in people and humanity died. He told me he needs time to be ready for a full on relationship...but it seems like we already are.so should I just trust he's being honest and wait for him to do the real thing or should I not?I really do trust that he's honest, because before things happened between us he said the same thing in general. I just don't know how common it is or if he's ever going to come around
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female
reader, AslPlz +, writes (16 April 2010):
Commitment comes before marriage. Maybe you could view it like that in this situation? Commitment comes before a relationship?
Is he committed to you?
As you said "his trust in people and humanity died"... so maybe if you give him time, he will learn to trust you.
he said "i don't want this to be only about sex now, i want to take you out, spend more time with you, and only sleep with each other"
Sounds like a relationship. Relationship is way beyond sex. Maybe he is trying to say, you are more to him than just a sex partner.
Give him several month, and if things are moving forward, then why not?
A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (16 April 2010):
Your dating... who cares what you call it. Set the rules, uphold them and grow your relationship. HOWEVER, you need to decide HOW LONG you're willing to being exclusive sex partners w/o a title. If he's never going to marry you, and expect to keep this status for 40 years, you may have a big problem.
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