A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, well im in a complicated situation right now. I have a boyfriend we've been together for longer than 6 months. I love him like i never thought i would love someone, he loves me really much (i know that)but the thing is... ive been lately sexually attracted to other guy thats attracted to me too. We've had sexually explicit conversations on messenger but we're never been further than that, i mean weve never had like sex in real life, yet i dont feel any special feeling for this other guy other than desire. i really want to stop doing this cause i know its bad and i wouldnt like my bf to have this kind of conversations with other girls.I dont know if im becoming a nympho or whats wrong with me, ive never had sex with my boyfriend cause we decided to wait until marriage.I really need some good answers that help me see the whole picture cause im lost in my thoughts.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks again for ur answers :)
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 If you would be hurt by him doing it, you absolutely have no right to be doing it unless you intend to hurt him. Unless you have an especially open relationship involving others than yes, cybersex is definitely cheating. You need to just stop unless you want to lose your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Yes, As honeypie said, its emotional cheating, which personally for me, I find the worse kind, as you have to put so much thought into what your typing, your trying to please his mind, you are wanting him to think of you as his sexual partner, and you are thinking of him in the same way.
Stop doing this, put your energies into pleasing the man that actually physically cares for you, who see's the real girl that you are, not the seedy dirty girl that this internet bloke is hoping you are.....If you want to play dirty and seedy, have a bit of dress up/role playing with your man, and block this other guy on MSN.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): YES, YES, YES it's cheating, if you act out in cyber space what is in your mind, then I'm afraid as much as you hate to think it is, it's CHEATING!!
If you are online talking about sex, instead of being with your boyfriend, online, off-line,or on the phone, in person, then you are choosing to be with this other guy - forget about virtual, don't fool yourself it's ok, it's NOT - this is as good as climbing in between the sheets with him..
I hope you come to your senses soon and concentrate on the REAL guy you have in your life, and not some tacky virtual online affair. The reality IS, he is probably doing this with any other female who's as willing to talk dirty with someone they have NEVER SEEN, MET, KNOW their qualities, what they stand for, values..I could go on, but it's about being selective, and IF you don't/wouldn't want your boyfriend doing what you're doing - STOP!
Jilly
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A
male
reader, Stonemason +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Yes, it's cheating. You're depriving your partner of these conversations; while he's holding the bag, you're eating oats with someone else. Why not try treating him to the same fun you're having with the cyberfella?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help i think i know what i gotta do!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the other guy is my friend also but i think that getting away from him would be a good idea because i care about my bf alot more than i care about this other guy so i wont do it again but.. should i tell my bf about this or just let it go?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 July 2010):
 Yes, it's called emotional cheating. Consider this, for most women cheating is ANYTHING you could not do with your significant other looking over your shoulder...
So... ask yourself this: are you cheating or not?
You Said it yourself, YOU wouldn't want him to do what you are doing. Don't have such double standards.. IF he can't do it, YOU can't do it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): If you love your boyfriend as much as you say, then stop. Just because you're not physically cheating, doesn't mean it's okay to talk sexually with another man behind your boyfriends back.
You've been verbally cheating on him. In my opinion, is still as bad as cheating. I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't be pleased if he found out and may even question himself if you're actually the woman he thought you were/the woman he wants to marry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2010): "i really want to stop doing this cause i know its bad and i wouldnt like my bf to have this kind of conversations with other girls"
If you wouldn't want him to do it, you shouldn't do it, either. Just because you're not romantically attracted to the other guy and are only lustful to him does not mean that you wouldn't want to have sex with him. If you're talking about having sex with him online, you might as well be doing it, and that is cheating. Tell the guy that you can't talk to him anymore.
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