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female
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anonymous
writes: Help, my guy seems to want only text sex. I fell in love with him when we met back in September and he pleaded to meet again. I agreed to meet a week later but he cancelled at short notice, asking for another date. Eventually after stalling for 6 weeks we meet again and the inevitable happens. We agree to meet again a few weeks later as he was very busy with work and since then he's been stalling me, always keeping my hopes up by promising that we'd be meeting soon, but never committing to a date. Occasionally though he'd ask if I would do this or that to him, which then turns into a text sex session. I think this may be all he wants from me and I have given up on hoping to see him again. Does anyone know why he prefers text sex to the real thing? If you wonder if he's with anyone else, the answer is definitively no, he's lived alone for quite a few years though he did have a brief relationship not long before he met me.
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (25 February 2006):
 Errr...you could do that or else you could try and work through this with him. Yes, it does sound like he has an intimacy problem. That would definatly explain why he prefers txt sex to actual sex and why he messes around so much when it comes to committing to a date.
A fleeting thought, is it possible he is a virgin? That would be another reason for him having a big problem with in the flesh intimacy. He may be very descriptive when it comes to txt sex but that doesn't neccessary mean he isnt a virgin. Speaking personally I had a similar experience before having actual sex and was still able to exercise my imagination.
I think that if you want to work this out you need to confront him about what is going on. But when you do it try and do it in a tender, soft way if that makes sense. Be firm but fair and try and work through this thing together.
A
female
reader, shania +, writes (24 February 2006):
 It does sound like he has a intimacy problem....thats why he prefers text sex to the real thing.Personally....i think your wasting your precious time with him.This man gets turned on by txting,that is enough for him...and your feeding his kicks so therefore he doesnt want a real relationship with you.I suggest you forget about him,he is using you.
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