A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My gf cheated on me with a bloke a while back we had been together for 3 years and had taken up a lease together in a house, she then broke up with me and continued to see this guy for about 2 monthsAnyway she has supposivly left this other bloke now but I dont know if she still see's him or notI really love her and have forgiven her for the dirty deeds she has done but I dont trust her and I really really wanna trust her again because I love her, but she gives me no reason to trust her, she never answers any of my questions about the guy she cheated on me with that I ask her about, I just want truthful answers for anything and everything I ask her so I can begin to trust her againShe says she loves me and i really love her, shes the only girl i've ever been with and it hurts me to know im no longer the only guy shes ever been withIt makes me really sad and I dont know how to shake the feeling that she has been with someone else, i have trouble trying to have sex with her because of this i keep imaging how this other douche bag has done the same sort of things to herDoes anyone know how to shake this feeling? I really love her and I do want to be with her it just hurts to think that she has done this to me when shes suppose to love meI just want to shake this feeling and get over it and begin to trust her again but i dont know how, i forgive her i just feel lost and really lonely with our relationship at the momentAny help or advice would be appreciatedThank you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Hey everyone I'm the original poster of this message
Thank you for all your replys and advice
I know that the best thing is to break all connections with her, but I really care about her and I don't want to lose her again ( which I know that gives her ammo to walk all over me ) and we both nearly died in a really serious car accident the other week ( which we were really lucky to walk away from ) that got me thinking that I should get over everything that happened between us abd fix it cos life can be taken so quickly
But I dont know, what do you guys think is this a good enough reason or am I still just being a wishful thinker and hoping everything will work out when it won't?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): Find someone who deserves you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): I'm sorry I have to agree with the others. The facts are it wasnt a spur of the moment thing, there was a timeline leading up to the actually cheating where she had time to consider what she was doing, she went ahead and did it then left you for the guy. When the fantasy was over, she returned to you her safe insurance policy. fact is she isnt sorry because she's still not being honest with you..no matter how she acts, and you will never fully get over it because the trust is already broken. You need some time apart at the least to sort yourselves out and get everything out in the open, other wise the doubts over time will only get worse
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): My friend forget about your girlfriend and move on ( PRONTO ) save yourself a lot of pain and heartbreak. She would not have cheated on you if she really loved you. I know from personal experance and it makes you feel like shit. I feel your pain man and I know what it is like. Believe me you are lucky to find out what type of person your girlfriend is before marrage and kids. I was not so lucky I was married for twenty two years and have five great children before I realized my wife ( who I adored with all my heart ) was not the person I thaught she was. So do yourself and dump her you owe it to yourself. Nicky
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): listen carefully... the feeling you have is not a feeling meant to be shaken off... there is a reason why they have such a thing called break up and divorce... your situation is a prime example... do yourself a big favor and break up with this girl who is not worthy of the time of day, let alone your trust... you must understand that the girl you thought you knew is not really there... and you need to let it go... it's better to live with loneliness temporarily than a lifetime of mistrust and lack of peace of mind... you deserve so much better than that, my dear... relationships in situations like yours were *not meant* to survive... if you don't choose the break-up for this situation, then for the love of God, what scenario WOULD you break up with her for???? How much more can one human being violate your heart and trust and disrespect you, than what she has done and continues to do...
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A
female
reader, peggypoo  +, writes (5 December 2010):
The only way you can shake this feeling is by breaking up. You need to see for yourself how much you mean to her. Forgiving her is too easy and she might think youre so hooked on her that she can work around you to forgive her everytime she screws up. Break up with her and be serious about it. By serious i mean dont return her calls or emails right away. Thats a sign that you miss her. Dont answer anything for 3 months. If she really and truly loves you and is sorry for what she did, she shouldnt be with anyone in 3 months.
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