A
male
age
,
*ohnson13
writes:I split permanently with my Mother and sister/brother in law one year ago. I am single with no other family.Does anyone in the UK know of a website offering(advice/sharing of information) available for adults who have a permanent split with one of their parents following the others death? Am I the only one in his 40's that this has happened to as it is a bit different to a split with both parents. My father died 3 years ago and after he died, my mother called him bad tempered and a racist, yet for 52 years she was married to him, she never mentioned this to me? Yes he was no angel but caring financially and my sister/brother in law bought a large house with an attachment (I forget the name this is called) 3 months after my father's death and my ex mother moved in about 16 months later, sold her bungalow and signed everything over to my ex -sister/brother in law. I am 46 and thankfully only feel affected by this on Mother's Day when mentioned a lot on the radio and at Christmas (unless I can get away).Do other people exist with a similsr problem?
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female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (2 March 2008):
 My father passed 15yrs ago and mother passed almost 4yrs ago...and I feel I can relate in some ways. My father was a man who showed loved to all of us with his kind touch. When my mother passed, she left no will. My mother was a Christian woman, had a heart of gold and was more of a giver in different ways versus showing her affection. However, we knew that she loved all 5 of us kids, as my dad did. One of my brothers was and still is very mean, he feels somehow my parents "owe" him for all his bad luck in his life. And that he did everything in the world for them, when actually he used them in so many ways. When my dad passed, we all recieved an early inheritance into which my mother made sure he moved out and placed his money down for a down payemnt to a house. She put the rest of the house in a loan to him to pay her off, so his house is payed for. All this is on paper which we found at her house later. He swears none of this is true, that Mom bought him the house out right as a "gift". If that was true, she could have done that for all of us, so, I know it isn't. My brother was in middle 30's when he moved out and for some odd ball reason, he feels as if "they" owed him for all his bad luck in his life. Mind you he is 48 now. My mother used to call us crying, scared for when he came home and would threaten her because of his mean ways. Why he is like this, we do not know. He was mean, greedy, you name it to her. The rest of us kids thought maybe we should get the police involved, but mom said no. We as family confronted him about this after she passed, and he has not spoken to us in years. We all love him no matter what, it's just he needs to come to terms with his demons from his past, and believe me, there are many and might I add, VERY bad one's. WE love him, however, WE will not tolerate his greediness, meaniness or the such where he feels he is due more then any of us. We are all equal and that is how he needs to see this whether he ever will or not is another story. If he chooses not to talk to us, we cannot change that. It's not about money, believe me either. It's that we want him to see the person that he is...and someone needs to set him straight. He's never married, he actually struck a woman once in his days...and I think that plays a part why he's not. He doesn't drink or the such...so, we just don't know what happened. I miss my brother...the one I remember growing up. He was kind and loving and could be quite the "ass" at times, but no matter, he is my brother and I will always love him. I'm sorry you are going through what you are going through...I will only add that hopefully, one day things will come to peace as I pray that for us and will pray that for you as well. Good Luck!
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