A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Right here goes. I'm totally confused. I got divorced and it was hard but I got through that. I met someone last May and he was everything I had been looking for. He was a lot younger than me but we got on so well. He was loving and caring and I thought the world of him. He had issues and opened up to me about them. It was difficult but I accepted them. Anyway his issues became more and more noticeable and he felt really guilty about them. Just before christmas we had a big row and the following week he would blow hot and cold with me. I was his first love and he said he couldn't imagine his life without me in it. During the week he would on the phone to me and in one call he would be lovely asking if we could work through things and the next he would seem very distant. He finished with me just before christmas and when he came to collect his things I wasn't home but my mum was here. She said he was in a right state crying. he left me a letter stating that he loved me and always would. I was his first love and his best friend. I spoke to him christmas day and he said he had missed me and hadn't been able to do anything because he just missed me so much. We agreed to try again but then he text me and his issues were the problem again. The next day I text him to say I loved him for who he was and to always remember that as I knew he was feeling guilty about the text he had sent the previous night. I never got a reply so the next day I text him again to say that he needed to seek help about his issues and not to feel guilty as he is who he is. he phoned me and when we talked he said he loved me and wanted to be with me but that he could not handle the responsibility (I have a daughter and a mortgage). I told him he had to let me go and find someone who could. We didn't speak after that. We don't live in the same area but I see that he has been out partying and there are photos of him with another girl. I am so confused. He used to cry saying how much he loved me and on the phone on Christmas night he was so upset. I miss him terribly but know I have to move on but am finding it very difficult. The stupid thing is I have had a few psychic readings and they have all picked up on him straight away and his issues. They have all said he will be back and that he does still love me and that he is really sad. I know we can't go back and that I can't be with him but I just can't seem to move on. I feel so upset that our love meant nothing.Does anyone have any tips for moving on. I went out on Saturday and ended up drinking and phoning him when I got home. He didn't answer but text me the next day askign what was wrong. I just said I was drunk adn probably wanted to speak to him. He asked if someone had been out on teh pull. I replied with a joke sort of text and heard nothing more from him.I have now destroyed his number so I don't make that mistake again lol. I know it's mad but I just seem to be stuck in limbo.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): You were right to distroy his number. And reconcile not to contact him again, phone, text etc. From what you say, he was no good for you, his issues would continue to cause a problem and as much as you love him, it would be a big problem. He sounds unstable and that's the last thing you need. He probably will be back - because he is a dependent sort of person and you give him time and sympathy. But do you just want to be there when he is at a low ebb and thinks he needs you? Maybe that is holding you back from moving on. The idea that he will reappear, work through his issues and all will be well. That's not going to happen if his problems are deep rooted and it sound as if they are. It's not your problem. Moving on - is it SO hard, of course, but an acceptence that you have no alternative sometimes helps.
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