A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and this girl have known each other for 7+ years and we had a bit of a fling for a couple months. basically what happened is that we lost touch over the holidays because we were always in a power struggle (she'd ignore me, i'd stoop to the same level, things would get worse in this kind of viscous circle and yet i only have myself to blame). She made it clear that she wasnt ready for a relationship YET but she would still talk about "if we we're a couple, blah blah blah".. she led me on even though i told her not to unless she knew what she wanted.. i had a feeling it would end bad all along but i just had to see it through, i love her like many suckers before me. I suppose the smarter thing would have been to wait for her to "do her thing" and by that i mean go clubbing and lead guys on and play her games till she realizes the pointlessness in all of it.. "the endless disconnect"sometimes i get caught up in these games even though i'd rather not and thats why i gave her the cold shoulder at the bar. She had been ignoring me, pretty much had me on no contact (though i never smothered her to communicate with me), and disappeared on me on a friend level; no more texting calling or hanging out 1 on 1. so ya she was upset because i gave her the cold shoulder and i'm the jerk in this situation because its like im not allowed to get upset when she does something cruel and i should pretend like everything is peachy when its really not. so ya she was upset with me and went on to hook up with a mutual friend of ours, which i think was to make me jealous. she also uses facebook as a tool.. ive got her hidden and yet i still see her interacting with guys i know..am i just paranoid or is she trying to get at me?if that's what she's aiming for then she's good at what she does! but im not sure if she realizes that it's making it harder and harder for me to look at her the same way. she's turning herself into someone i don't even know anymore! It hurts to think she'd be using jealousy to get a rise out of me after i tried so hard to build something with her...so basically ive stopped chasing after her but i haven't stopped thinking about her, we're "friends" again by definition but its really not the same as before..do you think the tactics she's used mean that she still might care for me? if yes, do i have any options here other than playing the waiting game?
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