A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for a year and I just had my first child with my husband. 2 months after my son was born I found out my husband was sending text messages to other women. He says he never cheated or even texted them back (which I know is a lie because I watched him text someone) He even had her name saved as Reggie in his phone hoping I wouldnt catch on. It was going on for at least 3 or 4 months before I confronted him. When I asked if he had told his little whore friend if she knew about his wife and baby he said no but couldnt explain why he would hide some thing like that from her. He has never told me who they are. He broke his phone to prove he wouldnt do it again but he just got a new one does any one feel that my wonderful husband can be trusted? [Mod note: The poster's chosen title, "He loves me, he loves me not" cannot be used as it is the same as another question here.]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Congratulations on your little bundle of joy! Sorry to hear your partner has spoilt what should be a happy time, by doing things involving other women behind your back. Where is he getting these numbers from? Are they women hes meeting online or in person? Either way i expect he can get their numbers again if he hadnt already stored them some place else, so dont take much notice of him breaking his phone. Its upsetting he didnt mentioned you or his son to this woman as it proves he isnt just chatting as a friend. But try not to blame her for it all. If she doesnt know he has a wife and baby its really him you should direct your anger at. The post suggesting getting a mystery sim and texting him yourself is a good idea. Do that if you really want to know what hes like behind your back. He may behave now or you might get a nasty wake up call but either way, i seriously suggest you leave it a while. Youre recovering from having a baby and youre probably upset enough for the time being. You really dont need anymore stress right now, especially if youre breast feeding. So do yourself a favour and put this one on the back burner until youre fit and strong enough to cope with the stress of this mans behaviour.I imagine hes going around with his tail between his legs at the moment, trying to placate you, so get him helping loads with baby while you recover properly. Hopefully if you involve him fully with the little one, he will form a strong bond and realise what hes risking by behaving badly.If youre still suspicious once youre feeling fully operational again, do as my sister did! Dont use any numbers you may have taken from his phone incase he hasnt given previous women his new number. My sister bought a new sim and text her partner pretending to be a girl trying to get hold of a gal pal for a night out. Her partner text her back explaining she`d got the wrong number. She text back a flirty message saying her gal pal had a new number and she must have stored it incorrectly! She began texting him regularly and after a few days he suggested they meet up for casual sex durin his work hours! If you do decide to text your husband be prepared, if he is a love rat you will have some tough decisions to make. All the best
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Hun, go with your gut feelings.. watch and wait and he will make a mistake again... then give him an ultimatum either his marriage or his sms buddy!!
He might only be chatting to them now, but who knows where this might lead. You do not deserve to be treated like this!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I say trust your instinct. When has it ever let you down before? You have every right to be suspiscious and how dare he even be interested in texting other women when he has you and a lovely new child to spend time with. I think the other post has a very good idea - one I would definitely use myself if I ever got suspiscious. My only advice to you would be - don't let it rumble on, him allowing to make excuses for himself and you living in doubt. Its not fair on you. Once you have evidence enough, then be ready to act upon it. Otherwise he will just continue doing it time and time again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Here is something I did in the same situation to try and catch my ex, who was texting other women. I went out and got one of those 30$ phones from a store and activated it. I got a hold of his phone and took the name of one of the women i knew he had been texting before (which was still in his phone) and changed the number to my secret phones number under her name. Then I texted him to see how he would react. Sure enough he acted the same way they had been talking before! I kept it going for a week and then finally confronted him. He tried to deny it and even blame me for deceiving him! Needless to say, he is an Ex for a reason.
I would say try to figure out if he is still doing it. Watch him closely, but dont put up with his shenanigans. You and your child deserve better than that!
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