A
female
age
36-40,
*elismatic
writes:Me and my boyfriend were together for three years when out of he blue this summer he says he's not feeling the relationship like he used to since August. It was sudden to me because there were no changes in the relation ship but he says he loves me but is not in love with me. We also had sex and he's not the type to just do anyone. I was wondering was if there is any chance of us getting back together and how can I get him to come back to me?
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female
reader, melismatic +, writes (15 June 2007):
melismatic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe were having sex while we were together it stopped once he broke up with me. But when he said he stopped wanting a relationship with me that the feelings started in august of 2006. He broke up with me during the summer. But i couldnt tell he stop feeling the relationship because of not only the sex. But he took me out like always on my birthday. He still always came to my dorm room to spend time with me, he wanted to spen christmas with me and my family this year like always but this time i let him and he got me a a diamond pendant to go with the ring he got me last year,valentines day was great. Our relationship always been great and he says i was a great girl friend. The only thing different now is he's in a fraternity.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (14 June 2007):
 In my opinion he doesnt know what he wants and is not being truthful with himself. I was in a relationship where nothing changed and all of a sudden she pulled the plug with little to no explanation. She didnt know what she wanted hence the questions that she left me with.
Your fella is obviously having the same difficulty choosing what he wants.
First thing is first, stop with the sex. that is just complicating matters for both of you. He needs to realise what he wants. You know what you want, but he needs to sort his mind out and put things in perspective.
Keep your distance. If he cant put a finger on what went wrong before, what is to say it wont happen again?
Goodluck..
R
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2007): He told you he loves you but is not in love with you. That statement seems to me to be an indication that he will not be back, let alone commit to you.
You should refuse to allow him to have sex with you, period.
As YummyMummy says, sex is part and parcel of being in relationship. Therefore: no relationship, no sex.
Forget trying to get him back - he's not worth it - and think about enjoying life by yourself (with your friends/family/co-workers, of course) and after some time has gone by, perhaps think about meeting a man who really will want you for yourself, for keeps!
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (13 June 2007):
 I dont think he is coming back to you. Your there for sex while he can go off and lead the single life. I know that sounds harsh, and maybe I'm wrong.
Take the sex away from him and say that if he wants that part of you then it comes with being in the relationship with you. Also ask him why he thinks the relationship changed.
Good luck
xxxxxx
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