A
male
age
41-50,
*yatt_smith
writes:So I'm going to try to be as real and honest about this as I can be. I have a ex. She just abruptly broke up with me a month ago. We were together for five years and ended up having three really cute kids. We have a lot in common from food to ideas to thoughts. What we don't have in common is age. When we met she was 18 and I was 25. First time she was pregnant she was 18. That was the first time she asked me to marry her. She never really had a chance to enjoy young adulthood. So when we met we were both in between jobs. I went out and found a job to support our baby. We agreed she would stay at home with the baby. After a while at this job I became frustrated and ended up leaving. Our daughter was about 11 months when this happened. She offered to go to work and me stay and care for the baby. I did and she went through a few temp jobs before she found a job at a furniture co. While she was working I ended up bored and addicted to internet porn. She told me over and over again to come to bed, stop looking at that. I was neglecting her for porn....sad right? One day she comes home and says I want to break up and it was right around Christmas. I asked her why. She says I just don't want to be with you anymore. I went out and bought her a really nice ring and asked her to have me back. She was pregnant with my baby. Suddenly the addiction didn't mean anything. She wore the ring everyday but didn't take me back. Soon after this she's out all night, not answering her phone and still living with me. I grabbed her cell phone one day and looked at it to see nasty I wanna f' you messages and turns out she cheated on me with a co-worker the night she broke up with me pregnant with our second child. This goes on for another two months at my place. We have to move and now she's getting her own place and I have no where to go. I kind of weasled my way in at her place and she's on and off with this guy. And when she's off with him she's on with me. This goes on for about four more months til about when the baby was born and then she decides she wants me back and wants to marry me. Wants to set a date. Never happened. She started talking about how she wants to marry herself? We got back together and soon after and then her lease ran up. We tried to move to Vegas with some friends but that didn't last long. We ended up living at her dad's house and she was pregnant again. We've been here since Feb. 2009 and neither of us have been able to find jobs and I haven't tried as hard as I should be... With her and to find a good job. Now the baby is 8 months old and I get the same line. I just dont want to be with you. She cheated on me again and came home and broke up with me like that makes what she did ok. I had to find out on her facebook page and it was nasty. I love her with all my heart and it really hurt to see that. I might be a loser but I still have feelings. So she's been gone a lot lately and i'm basically the enabler who watches the kids so she can do what she wants with this guy. She didn't come home for two days on Halloween. She used to be the best mother, now she sees the kids a lot less and is always with him. She treats me like dirt. She obviously took all the feelings she had for me and flipped them right onto him. She won't talk to me about anything important. Anytime I mention family or kids she says blah blah blah! I am willing to look past and forgive her for her infidelity if she is willing to forgive what I haven't done for our family. I really do love her and always have. Do you think this mess is worth working out for us and the kids?
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broke up, cheated on me, christmas, co-worker, facebook, got back together, infidelity, porn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): I don't think that you should straighten this mess out. The best thing for you to do is get it together for you and your kids. They need stability and two stable parents. All this moving back and forth in different homes and the back and forth relationship between you and her is just crazy. This is not good for the children.
No offense, but when you decide to hook up with a barely legal woman, you get a barely there relationship. She just fresh into adulthood, no sense of direction, or anything that a more mature woman would have for herself. When you get with that type of female, this is what you should expect. Get yourself together, get a job, get out of her parents house, and get some stability for the sake of your kids.
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