A
female
age
36-40,
*.O.S.E.R.
writes:I like a guy I met a year ago - back then we had one date and sex (well kinda,cause I was a virgin and he didn't know that:).Now I saw him few weeks ago,after that he asked for my number from a friend...Now we saw each other 2 times.He's cute and I like him but I'm not sure does he want just sex or maybe something more.He was nice,kind etc but asked me to sleep with him - I said 'no' but I don't know how long will it take till he tries again.I'm so confused now and it's my 1st relationship in a while (I loved an older guy who didn't wanna stay with me) so I dunno how to act properly...so any tip would be of use:))) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, L.O.S.E.R. +, writes (10 September 2007):
L.O.S.E.R. is verified as being by the original poster of the question Heey,in e mail notification I received writes I should say if replies have been helpful:)Reply nr1 seemed optimistic (he actually asked me twice,both times we saw each other) and reply nr2..."People who want normal relationships with emotion involved don't ask their potential partners to sleep with them"-guess that means no one ever wanted a relationship with me,boohooo...Dunno....Yap he could easily think I'm easy lol.But does anyone have advice about how to change that?Should I act in some specific kind of way,not give him what he wants for a while,tell him something like he should wait for me or etc?I guess all guys want sex even though lots of them say it's not ALL that meters-how is it so easy to some girls not to be used just for sex and rejected afterwards?I know I could give up but life is a game and I wanna experiment...There must be a way to make a guy seeing you as a person and not a hole???Well all that mentioned above could be PRO to my question but what confuses me is CONTRA:
-back then,after that night he called me over 10 times (I didn't reply) before he gave up
-now that we saw each other again he remembered some stuff I toled him about me a year ago (I don't think even my best friend listens to what I say that much-what also might mean I have no true friends lol)
-while he touches me he does it in "un-sexual" way (hugs me friendly,even while we kiss his hands are on my shoulders or somewhere around there)
-he makes plans like "when the weather gets better we'll go there or do that" and tells me plenty of stuff like "I'd like to meet your younger brother"
-I avoid it but he looks me in the eyes a lot while he talks
-so far he revealed me some personal stuff about him
...Maybe a guy can do that and still wants nothing but sex-even though I have lots of mail friends I still can't figure them out.It's maybe early from me to think about all that but if you've ever been hurt by person who meant a lot to you you'd know how important it is not to repeat that kind of experience again.So more help,please:)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2007): Of course that's all he's after. He actually asked you to sleep with him, is that not proof enough? People who want normal relationships with emotion involved don't ask their potential partners to sleep with them.
You slept with him on a first date and by doing that you're giving out a very clear message to him. Maybe he thinks you're easy now.
By all means have a sexual relationship with this guy if that's what you want just be aware that it sounds like that's all it's going to be.
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A
female
reader, Gemini1506  +, writes (9 September 2007):
At the minute i dont think he's after sex as he has only asked you once. If he is quick to talk about sexual acts and continues to ask you then eend it there
best of luck
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