A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had given up on this guy liking me, but now I find out he hasn't dated anyone before, it may throw new light on things. I thought he wasn't that interested because:- he sometimes wouldn't reply to texts or call me for a week or more, then he'd say he was sorry and had been really busy at work- things just weren't progressing.Now I'm wondering if these could just be the result of his inexperience, not knowing how to get a relationship to progress. I hate to say it, but because I'm used to guys making all the moves, I haven't exactly been making it any easier. My relationships just seem to progress "naturally" because the guy is the one making all the moves towards commitment. Is there anything I can do to help things along?He did tell me about 4 months ago that he really liked me but my nerves got the better of me and I didn't say anything back. I was kicking myself at the time and now even more so, since it must've been really hard for him to say, having not told a woman he liked her before. He doesn't know that I know about his lack of experience by the way. Also, all my exes have been a lot more experienced than me, so I have no idea how to go about showing someone how to kiss or what to do in bed. Any ideas?
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female
reader, bitterblue  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 Well, you almost pity him for a second when you say "it must've been really hard for him to say" he liked you. I don't know how hard this was but I have seen more difficult situations. Maybe he indeed is a busy person, I have seen others with little ME-time because they prioritised work hence the lack of relationships, work being at Number 1 and Number 2, relationships came lower in the hierarchy, I am NOT saying he is like that so let's just forget this. Now, you are adult people, shyness should not be a problem, maybe the the fact you should have to find a bit more time for each other and especially him since he is usually busier, otherwise I don't see why you couldn't take the bull by the horns and tell him you would love to see him more often, just be careful about the fact he may be less responsive if all this is new to him but try to make sure he tries too, once you go past a certain stage, as relationships mean working together after all. I wouldn't worry about you having to teach him, he supposedly has read and seen enough by now and you don't want to be misinterpreted or go too heavy on him. All the best.
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