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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: 10 years ago, my first girlfriend and I broke up after going out for a very short while. We lost our virginity to each other. She is the one who broke up with me because she was a little older than me and graduating high school that year, and more importantly, she felt that I was more suited for a good female friend of mine. I didn't fight her on this, because I actually kind of agreed with her. I was kinda sad, but it did make sense. I don't know if I really meant it at the time, but I told her something like 'well, maybe in 10 years we'll meet again.' Very soon after we broke up, I did end up dating my friend and we actually ended up together for a long time because we had so much in common. My ex and I were still going to school with each other, so...after the breakup, at first we were both nice to each other--I would grab her hand and squeeze it if we passed in the hall because I thought she was still sweet, and we would smile. Very soon, though, she started to ignore me. I think she even gave me dirty looks. This contradicts the fact though, that one time I saw her drive by my house, very soon after the breakup, and my house is not on her way to anywhere. I know she did it on purpose.After we split, and she graduated, a year later I saw her at a party once and she had a new boyfriend. He seemed kind of like a jerk, and I don't remember anymore the circumstances, but I was introduced to him and he said 'oh yes, I've heard quite a bit about you.' hmmmm. Weird. After that, I saw her walking around the party. She seemed really drunk. Earlier that evening when I first saw her there and she was sober, I had invited her to go hang out with me just to talk for a bit and catch up, and she declined, but once she got really drunk she started yelling for me to come over to her, and I did, but her new boyfriend angrily pushed me away, and I left the party.A few times I also saw her come into stores I worked at. I think it was coincidence because I always got jobs in her neighborhood and these were very popular businesses...sometimes I'd run into her with this boyfriend.I ran into a friend of hers once long after I had last seen her, and asked what happened to her. He told me she had moved to another state. So, a few years ago-probably 8 years since we broke up, I got a message from her on myspace. She just said hi and told me to drop a line if I wanted to. I never replied, because I felt like it was kind of creepy and pathetic she was still thinking about me after all of these years. Ever since she drove by my house that 1 time, I can't help but think of her as kind of a stalker, and I even made sure to tell everyone I knew about it at school at the time that it happened, and I know that she heard that I saw her. This time, I also made sure to tell everyone, so I forwarded the message she sent to the people we had known in high school that were my friends on myspace. She was never really part of our group and everyone got a kick out of getting this message. This was 3 years ago and she's never tried to get a hold of me since then, though I'm sure that she's probably looked at my myspace profile since and maybe before (I never made it a private page, though). Do you think she's still stalking me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009): WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. You sound like a little bit of a jerk. I'm not usually so crass, but geez man!! You think it's creepy and pathetic that she messaged you on Myspace after 8 years just to say hi? And did you really forward that message to tons of people? That was a rotten thing to do, and extremely immature I might add. Unless she wrote you a long, stalkerish love note "I was looking through your window last night and see you still have that same shirt you did in high school...", I really think that you are really making an awful lot out of NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. And forwarding that e-mail was just mean. No wonder she hasn't written to you again, she got the reminder that you were a jerk and moved on.So she drove by your house. ONCE. 10 years ago. Some people do that, just because maybe she was thinking about you or maybe she was actually going somewhere that she knew how to get to by going down your street. You don't know, unless you live on a dead end street, it could be true. I mean, did she slow down in front of your house, get out of the car, poke through your mailbox? Do you get silent phone calls, with the heavy breathing and then the *click* of a hang up? Does she seem to just show up everywhere? At the grocery store, at the doctors, at your workplace, in your garage?To be honest, it sounds like YOU'RE the one hung up on this relationship... over thinking and over analyzing everything this poor girl does. Let's go over the evidence one more time: you broke up - she drove by your house this one time. You ran into her and her boyfriend a couple of times at popular stores. And one time 8 years later, she says hey on Myspace, thinking "oh hey - I know that guy from way back when. We had some good times, I lost my virginity to that guy!! Man, the memories.", and you go haycrazy thinking she's a stalker?I'm friends with all of my exes on Myspace and Facebook. They're all good friends now, and I don't think any of them could accuse me of being a stalker. I think you are over reacting and really dwelling on this girl from a decade ago. Give her a break!! Seriously.
A
female
reader, Renee okc  +, writes (2 July 2009):
Dude get over yourself it doesnt sound like she is stalking you maybe she is curious too why is it okay for you to ask people about her but when does the samething she has to be stalking you , Maybe she regrets breaking up with you and that is why she keeps trying to get in contact with you there is know telling what has happen to her in her life and your making it a big joke between you and your friends thats she never really hung out with i think you are over thinking this because it is no different and the same questions that anyone you know from school would ask and she drove by your house so what maybe she wanted to stop but never got the nerve you think very highly of yourself but i think you need to move on
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