A
male
age
30-35,
*hinobi's heart
writes:Hey, I'm the 15 years old guy with the immature girlfriend. Ok well, I'm sorry if this is too fast but I had to write this because I'm running out of time. She sent me an email and tomorrow I don't know if I shoul talk to her or ignore her. Here is her email:~beggining of email~Hi.- are you still with your boyfriend?- yes.- how is everything between you two?- not so good.- it's ok, think about all the good moments.Sometimes, pride or whatever it is makes me say "i don't want to talk to him, why the hell should i apologize, he doesn't care, what should i aologize for, balblablablabla". but sometimes i'm like, our relationship is really important to me, you are really important to me and i dont want to lose u. when there is the other thing im like "but wtf, if i have to think about the good moments, well theres more bad ones than good ones". but sometimes i do find those good moments and i love you "shinobi", i reall love you and it hurts me when we dont talk to each other because i miss u, because i love u. seriously, these times i reaaaaaaaaaaallyyyyyy doubt that we would survive anything but i WANT us to survive anything, i dont see myself without u, that i think i told u like 199478475 times but again im telling u: i don't see myself without u "shinobi", I LOVE YOU.so im sorry for not being mature,i love you.~end of email~Seriously, I don't know what to say. She says we have more bad times than good times, is that MY fault? Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if 99.9% of the times we had a fight was because of her, and her immaturity. In that email, I don't see anything that tells me she is willing to change. Do you feel at the end of the email how she says "sorry for not being mature" that she is subtely saying that she won't change a damn thing about it? That she'll stay the same way and hurt me all along and when I stop talking to her she'll apologize after a maybe a week if she loses her fake pride? I can't live it that way, it seems so wrong but I don't know what to tell her. I don't know how she truly feels, and I don't want to be hurt again. What should I do, what should I tell my girlfriend in my email?
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (3 September 2008):
 I agree with the other poster. You're too young to be stressing all about this. Now, don't get me wrong, people at your age DO fall in love, just very few, but it's SO bad for your health to be stressing like this.
I think you should talk with your girlfriend too, I think it's time now. Now, when you talk to her and if she wants to come back and if you want her back, then put her conditions. You could think them yourself, and base them on how she treated you (like, stop the "pride" bull). Tell her that if she breaks the conditions, that it's over.
You know, I understand completely that you love her, but it just doesn't seem to me that she will change any time soon. And I mean, what can you expect from a girl her age? If she keeps on making you miserable and you still keep being with her then you will miss out on true love!
I can attest to this. I too at 15 thought I was in love with my ex. I never had that feeling before, so I thought it was the feeling of being in love. Our relationship was never like yours. It was pretty ok most of the time. But, he moved out and my feelings for him changed. I later met my current boyfriend I the way I feel for him is just... so much different. Now, I realize that what I used to feel for my ex was just infatuation... no, I might have actually loved him, but I wasn't in love with him. Now that I know how it feels like to be in love,I can say that. But you know, if I hadn't left my ex... I would have neve met my boyfriend now. I wouldn't have.
So, if she keeps on doing this to you, don't hesitate on dumping her. Don't waste your energy on her when you could be investing it with someone else.
A
female
reader, scorpioqt86 +, writes (3 September 2008):
The best thing is to tell her face-to-face, because sometimes things can come off the wrong way in an email. Also you are too young to be stressing yourself out about a relationship, and believe me I'm 21 now(married at 18), been there done that. If you feel that the relationship is not worth the heartache, and are tired of being with an immature girlfriend, break it off, and find happiness. When you love someone it is not hard to apologize, pride is no longer an issue. Sometimes when we are young we get confused and "think" we love someone but it is just infatuation. Not saying that she does not love you, I'm just stating my opinion, because I had a lot of pride when I first met my husband (he is also 21). Good Luck!
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