A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello DearCupid, I met this guy on online and after 3 weeks later we started to date and now we became a couple. We are having relationship for four months. I also met whole his parents and he everytime told me that he loved me so much. My question is I am little bit jealous person and even though he told me that trust me Iam not that kinda guys who cheat on I never trust a guy. 3 days ago on saturday we went to clubto meet his friend and his friend was alone. Suddenly his friend's came and they were all slutty girls. He was looking one of girl over there. Later my bf went to bar to grab a drink and I was watching to him. He was talking to the bartender girl. He put smt on his pocket I thought girl gave him her phone number.. Then my bf cAME next to me ans started to talk to me as if nothing happened. but I was so jealous and started not to talk to him later i told him i will go and get drink.. he came behind me eventhough I didnt want him to come with me.. He asked me why Iam acting weird I didint tell him. Later I told him that the girl gave her number to him.. He told me that ''ofcourse no she just gave me the change''.. and he told me that ''instead of acting like that I should have talked to him'' After that day he always texted me what he is doing or when he got home.. but after that day he never text me or let me know what he is doing.. he barely text me... I dont understand why he is acting like that.. thats why i dont even text him I dont wanna bother him anymore.. Do you think my jeolusy to him drive him away? So thats why he is acting like that? What should I do and makes him to text me again like everytime?Thank u so much for taking your time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Wontonbomb  +, writes (6 January 2010):
 Yes, your jealousy will drive him away.
He has every right to not tell you what he is doing at every minute of every day. He is a grown man and will need to be treated as such. The problem here is your jealousy, not your boyfriends inability to inform you of every move he makes. I feel you must have been hurt in the past, but you can't blame the mistakes of your past partners on your current one or you'll never be happy.
Let me ask you, if you didn't keep tabs on him constantly, what do you feel would happen? He would lie and cheat? Well if he does that you are not with the right guy anyway. Whereas constantly badgering him will only push him away regardless of whether he wants to or not.
You have to learn to trust him and let him live his own life. I'd advise maybe talking to him about these problems. You said that he asked you to tell him what was bothering you instead of acting all moody and distant, so do it! Talk to him about your insecurites and let him know that your naturally untrustworthy. Otherwise you may well end up being suspicious and upset with someone who is very good for you, and he will wonder what he done to deserve this behaviour.
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