A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that my husband has a lust and masterbating problem. We have been married 22 years this june. I was just blown away when I figured it out. He confessed of the lies and lusting. He has been doing this for 22 years and because of all the deception I never knew until 4 days ago. Alot of things when we first met and started dating also where lies. Do you think he is a sociopath? Do you think he can even overcome the lusts and self gratification issues with counceling and does anyone know about the total deception on who he is and what he is? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): Possibly... A similar situation happen to me. I then found out the "masturbating" was more of a porn addidtion. Then came tons of lies. Then I found out my husband is addition to hookers. Excuse me, "asian massage parlors" who offer ANY sexual favor as long as you have $20. There are many, many disgusting stories to go along with all of this behavior. My husband was diagnosed as being a "sociopath." There is info online about sociopaths & it is my husband exactly. He is unable to tell the truth or feel any guilt about anything he does. We have two young daughters & every piece of advice I've ever received from anyone is to get him out of my life! I NEVER want to raise my daughters thinking this behavior is alright. Not all men are like this but the ones that are definitely defend each other. Re-evaluate your life with this man. IS THE WAY HE TREATS YOU ACCEPTABLE??? It's never too late to start over - and most importantly - YOU MUST BE HAPPY.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): If you really want to know if your guy is a sociopath, google the word sociopath.
I took a test online a year ago to see if my ex fit the description...out of 18 questions, I answered 16 of them "yes." It really creeped me out! I knew he was abusive, and could be very cruel, I knew he was bi-polar and had drug problems...but I never realized until then how sick he was. Fortunately, he died of a heart attack before I took this test, (may he rest in peace!) otherwise I would've really been freaking out! You don't mention anything regarding abuse, so I'm not really sure if you are in danger.
you decide by googling Sociopath!
Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): There is nothing wrong with your husband. Masturbation is normal. Where do you get sociopath from - please explain He might be masturbating coz you don't give him any sex, you sound like the kind of woman who doesn't want to have sex with her husband.
There is nothing wrong with your marriage or your husband. Please don't create problems where there are no problems.
X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I can't tell what he's lusting after: women, alter boys, goats...
As far as masturbation, that's typically a habit males start up in adolescence and it almost always carries over well to their grave as a past time. I wouldn't judge the masturbating. There's worse stuff.
Sociopaths are defined as those whom lie in every action in order to gain from others what they want. Sociopaths have no concept of truth and view all other entities as stepping stones to mislead for their gain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Hi
On who he is........and what he is? did you ever know him?
all sounds VERY CLINICAL AND COLD......but from your side.......sorry.
via con dios.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): I have no idea what you are talking about. There is no way to tell if someone is a sociopath unless they are evaluated by a professional. If your husband has the problems you allude to, then he needs professional help....so see if you can't get the two of you into counseling. Check first with your doctor for a referral. Don't be embarassed about asking for help, they have heard everything, trust me.
I hope everything works out for you. I am sure that it all seems overwhelming and confusing to you right now. But what ever you are feeling right now is due to raw emotions that you are experiencing, so don't make any snap judgements until you give yourself some time to calm down and have a chance to seek some professional help for your marital problems.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, bobbo43  +, writes (8 April 2009):
Hi
I think the word sociopath is inappropriate here. I Can understand your surprise if you did not know he likes to masturbate. Everybody has lust. Different levels for different people yes, but we all have lustful thoughts, whether we admit it or not - havent you?......... AND.......
Can you honestly say YOU dont masturbate? Honestly? At all?
If the answer is yes to these questions, then do you consider perhaps that you also need "counselling"?
Of course not. Dont let your marriage get into difficulty simply because you found out your man likes to have a w***
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): No, I think you are the one who might be :)
You know, masturbation is not a psychological disorder, and "lusting" is a very vague thing to get this worked up about.
Your husbands sexuality is his own business, and it's only a problem if he is harming others, or finds it to be a problem himself. The problem here is your intolerance. Your husband sounds like a normal, healthy adult male. You, on the other hand, sound repressed, judgmental and fanatical.
Here's some home truths: MOST men and women out there masturbate, fantasize, have "dirty" thoughts, look at porn occasionally or a lot, might have a kink etc etc. There is nothing wrong with them. "Lust" is a natural human instinct and nothing to be ashamed of. Perhaps you need a little more of it in your life...? :)
Anyway, as to the lies, lying does not make one a sociopath, check the DSM 4 on wikipedia for all the criteria.
Are you a Christian...? If so it might be time to re-address some of your ideas about sexuality now, as I suspect your husband will keep lying to you so long as you keep expecting him to be a sexless angel :)
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