A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I been together with my boyfriend for 6 years, we have had a very rocky relationship over the years, we always argue and we don't trust each other at all (we have never cheated on each other or so i think. We have a son, he is four years old. Over the last year i have lost alot of weight and make an effort with my appearance, everyone says how pretty and great i look, but my boyfriend doesn't like that i have lost weight and have more confidence. He always looks at me in disgust, he never treats me or takes me out, he don't make an effort with anything. When i try to speak to him he don't listen, i sometimes cry and he does nothing to comfort me. He moans about our sex life saying i don't have sex with him enough although i have sex atleast 3-4 times a week with him. He constantly pests me for sex. I'm beginning to get fed up, i do everything such as the housework, school runs, going to work and studying at the same time. I'm starting to feel stressed and miserable. I'm thinking of saving some money and then leave him. I now find myself looking at other men, and when i get attention from men it makes me feel so happy and boosts my confidence. I feel like the love is gone and feel like there's not much left to give. Do you think leaving him is the best thing for me and my kid,i just want some advice
View related questions:
confidence, money, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 I agree with Wise, something moved you to write it all out loud.
Make sure (for YOUR sake )that you use birth control so no oppps will happen that might make you stay in this miserable relationship.
I think it sounds like you are actually BOTH really done with it but staying together because you think it's the right thing to do for your son. I don't think it is, and maybe you don't either any more.
IT IS OK to want out. I would also HOLD off on the looking for a replacement BF/Daddy for quite a while. TAKE some time once you move out to focus on making things work for you and your son, THEN focus on adding a new man to your life.
Personally, I don't see how you can even continue to have sex when you don't really want to. That just makes me sad.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2014): Whatever feelings moved you to write your post are the feelings that will help you to make your decision.
It certainly appears you have reached a dead-end in your relationship. He doesn't encourage you, never compliments you, or take you anywhere. You seem to be his live-in maid, and all he needs from you is sex.
Six years into a relationship with a four year-old child with no marriage in the future, is just holding you back. The guy shows you no respect, and it's as if he is only there; because you have a child together. There is no question that you will need to setup legal-support for your son.
Don't stay with a man who doesn't show you love, only for the child's sake. Legal arrangements can be made for his paternal rights and visitation. So you should prepare now to leave. It will minimize any challenge for the custody of your son; if you have a stable financial situation, and decent place to live. Just get your legal ducks in a row regarding child-support.
The wrong thing to do, is stay if you are unhappy; and a man just treats you like a piece of property. He offers you nothing emotionally; because my guess is that he is only there because he wants to be close to his son. He would have married you by now; if he cared enough for you and your son.
Do what you feel is right for you. If you don't feel loved, why stay?
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (15 June 2014):
 Better late, than never. Get movin'!!!!!
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, SeaGreen  +, writes (15 June 2014):
 Yes, I thinking leaving him would be for the best. You are not happy with him and he doesn't care enough to be happy about your success.
However you might want to try to communicate to him and tell him you are not happy and will leave if things don't get better.
...............................
|
