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male
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anonymous
writes: Do you think it's normal that my girlfriends mum agreed to us having sex when she was under age?My girlfriend asked her mum if she could get the pill a month before she was sixteen and her mum said 'Okay' and was not shocked. My gf claims her mum said that 'We would do it anyway' which is why she let us. I just felt there was no privacy and her mum knowing was a bit uncomftable also how soft she was in response to my girlfriend was a bit strange as I've grown up with very provate and strict ish parents.I later found out that her mum had educated my gf at a very young age about sex and reproduction and gave her books and stuff. Since then she has been very open about sex and talks a lot about other peoples privacy so openly without any consideration for me.Is she trying too change me ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2007): yup, its a good thing, i wonder why you are even asking.... would u have wanted ur girlfriends mom to hav alerted the police that this could be on the agenda?my mom tells me... i was ten years old, and i asked her ' mom where do babys come from' she replied 'your fanny' - not your stomach, not rubbing bums together.... straight out - your fanny. apparantly i never asked again.which is how it should be. ok so teens should not be drinking.... fairenough, BUT THEY ARE!, So, do youre parents allow you to drink at home (in moderation - sort of) or do they let you go off to the streets and drink there?As soon as my kid knows the meaning of the word sex, she will be taught about contraception too. not for pregnancy sake, stuff that,thats childsplay... diseases.... Aids, genital warts. falling pregnant is probably one of the better things that can come from unprotected sex compared to the rest. if my child was interested in sex at 14, or even knew about how it happened, which obviously they do in this day and age, id offer to take her to get the pill etc, and promote condoms like life depended on it.stuff the age oooh 16.... grow up...some 12 year olds are better educated than some 30 year olds when it comes to contraception... and very very vice versa....your girlfriend is absolutely FINE..... the only one here that is probably a li ttle inexperienced is you....else why in the world did you ask such an odd question
A
female
reader, Peasle  +, writes (28 February 2007):
Hi there,
I think the fact that your girlfriend could broach the subject openly with her mum is a good thing. (Some girls are able to talk quite freely with their mums - remember, they've gone through starting their periods etc).
I also think that being allowed on the pill one month before 16 years is no big deal. Her mum was right - you probably would have had sex anyway - and at least this way, contraception has been sorted out, and there is no chance of a pregnancy. Your girlfriend/her mum have acted responsibly - and a lot of young couples don't, and end up with a pregnancy. Having worked in the teenage pregnancy field - and with the UK having the highest rate in Europe - I think it would be a far better situation if all young women felt they could talk to their mums like this.
However, the privacy aspect is another matter. Your girlfriend asking her mum for contraception advice is one thing...talking about the ins and outs of your sexual behaviour with people (!) publicly is another. Often girls do swap information - mostly to check if they are doing it right etc! (And guys do the same, to a certain extent). However, if this is being done publicly, and you feel uncomfortable, then perhaps you should have a chat with her. Just say that you would like to keep some things private between you.
Maybe ultimately, she will help you feel less inhibited in terms of talking about it, but you can help her adjust her boundaries a little!
Best of luck :-)
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