A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I am having a small conflict right now.Alright firstly I am asian and my boyfriend is American(Half English). We are both sixteen..At first I thought he was really a sweet and pure guy but these days he is acting differently. He asked me for a sex! I said that I am not ready and I am too scared for it and all. He then was like comparing eastern and western cultures and some other bullshit. Oh he also thinks that I am abnormal cause I don't have any interest in sex till this age. Well its true that I really don't care about those kind of stuff..So is this really mean that I'm not normal? I believe that sixteen is too young for sex. What do you think about teenage sex? It doesn't really matter even if your answer is like only a sentence or something..just write anything pls. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 It's normal. In fact, I get the feeling that many young girls are being rushed into sex when they aren't ready yet, just to conform to peer pressure, cultural expectations or .... ..horny boyfriends . At 16 you think about sex, yes, you are curios, you wonder... but , as for actually tryng it, not everybody is ready .
A
male
reader, stateside  +, writes (16 October 2011):
Completely normal. It is also normal for any 16 year old boy to think of nothing but sex. You should make it very clear to your boyfriend that you are not ready and not going to give in. Be prepared for a break-up, name calling, other 16 year old kid stuff / peer pressure being throw your way. It isn't always easy being right but your example will show others it ok to say no. Good Girl!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): Yeah, you're normal. At 16 I was curious about sex, but too afraid and shy to act on it...Sex was something I preferred to watch it in movies or read about it in books rather than experiment with myself. I general though, think men do tend to be more interested in sex at your age than women.I think part of your difference in your and his thinking is biological and hormonal, not cultural. And I suspect why you're so upset about this is not that he asked you for sex, but that the comparisons he made about Western and Eastern cultures after the fact. You might want to tell him to quit giving you an anthropology lesson just because you're not interested in a having sex at this point in your life. As condescending as he seems, he's probably making cultural comparisons to make himself feel better after being rejected. When you tell him you're not interested in sex for the time being you might also mention you're not interested in being reduced to an anthropological case study either. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 You are normal. But so is your boyfriend. The truth is that people are different when it comes to this. Some are interested in sex from a very early age, others are not interested in sex until much later. I think the reason your boyfriend got upset with you is because he is very interested in sex right now. And when you want something badly you get upset when you can't have it. This is childish of him, but then again he is only 16, I would not expect him to understand that he needs to be patient.
The bottom line is that when it comes to sex it is about two people. There should only be sex if both want it. Sex should never be one sided. Teenage boys do not always understand this, because of the hormones at this age. When he gets older his sexual urges will be more controllable and calmer, and he will understand the value of waiting with sex until both partners are feeling ready for it.
I don't think your boyfriend means what he said. He was just feeling frustrated. That is no excuse to talk to you like he did, but it is an explanation. You are very normal, but it is difficult some times to see that what is normal to you is not always what is normal to others, which I think he struggles to understand.
Be firm about what you want though. If you do not want sex then there will be no sex, plain and simple. If he can not wait until you also feel ready, which might take a few more years, then he and you can not be together.
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