A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey readers, I'd like your advice on my situation of being stuck between two friends. Basically, I met the guy at work, and he was my best buddy. Unfortunately, he and his wife were going through a rough patch. He started seeing a girl from work, who I had also become friends with. Eventually, he and his wife got divorced for many reasons. He moved away and the relationship with my female work colleague stalled. He called it off because he felt guilty the whole time he was with her. So they haven't spoken since, like, March, at which time he told her he needed time to think. Here's the problem: he contacted me a few weeks ago for a chat, and mentioned he's started seeing a new girl and is happy. BUT she (who I now consider a close friend) also contacted me a few weeks before that to say she misses him lots, wonders when he's going to contact her again, whether he will come and sweep her off her feet...but said she felt that if she knew he was with someone else, it would devastate her but help her move on. She said she'd want me to tell her if he was with someone else, as she's trying to have no contact... I don't know what to do! I want to be a good friend to both of them... I advised him that he should maybe speak to her to give her closure, but he hasn't... If you were me, would you tell her? I guess it would help her move on, but I don't want her to be upset.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009): I'd say if she outright asks you if he is with someone else now and you know he is then be honest and tell her. It may hurt her at first, but it will help her move on faster and not waste time going after someone who is already happy in a new relationship.
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