A
female
age
41-50,
*9agegap
writes:My ex-bf and I had been together for almost a year. I want commitment, he doesn't want commitment....thus we did the classic girl nags at guy for commitment/guy is unhappy and withdraws ...vicious cycle.Eventually he got really stressed at work and as I kept nagging him, he broke it off. It's been a week now and I accept his decision. However, I read some books and I learnt about how men and women communicate and I realize what I did in driving him away. I will not contact him...but I miss him a lot and I believe if we can work things out and understand each other, things will be great again.I know when guys have too much on their plate they will cut off the least important part - naggy girlfriend. I wonder if after I give him space for a month or two and ask for a patch back, do you think he will accept?Of course, even if we get back together the same problems will still be there. I cannot promise him I can/have changed. However, I think I know how to handle these situations already. How can I convince him to try the relationship one more time?Guys out there - would you? Have you broken up with a girl before then want to get back together? Did it work out?Girls - do you think I am being disillutional and I should just move on to someone who is ready for commitment?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 May 2008):
Well it's a gamble but it might work....
Man psychology is a tricky one. If you learn to play it right though, it can work out great. Why not write him a letter explaining all this? You'll get to say everything you want to in depth, and yet he won't feel under pressure for an instant response so he can really think about what you have said.
However, he might have gone past the point of no return already. He might not be able to forgive you for stressing him out, he might have fallen out of love with you.
The biggest risk you have is the fact that he probably still won't want a commitment. After all, it's you that's promising to change to fit around him here, he gets it all his way in this.
If you want commitment, marriage, kids, security then move on and find a man who wants to give you that. No offence, but you are heading toward 30 pretty fast and if pregnancy is what you are after then it's a race against the clock.
If you want this guy and are willing to risk not getting any of the above then use the psychology and you may win him back.
Good Luck!! xx
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