A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It seems like my boyfriend of over a year has changed and doesn't want to be with me anymore.I've confronted him and he tells me he does but we've not kissed in weeks, he seems short tempered with me and we've not had sex in months!Do you think I have done anything to make him like this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWeeellll... Lastnight when I went to his house he told me he'd been thinking on the way home from work about the way he treats me and he said he's going to be nicer, which he was from about 8pm lastnite till just now(9am). I've not seen him all this time but he has been texting and phoning =D
Oh to the last guy that commented he's the clingy one lol he goes daft if I tell him I'm going out and he said he wants to be with me all the time =S
anyway.. I think his problem might be his work (he constantly moans about it and he never went today)He works as a labourer for a building company but hates it and he cant get a new job as he has no qualifications(he gave up on school - idiot!)He does get better paid than me tho and I've got qualifications!!
Anyhooo.. thanks for all your answers they were appreciated
xx
=]
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): Maybe you might need a males perspective on this,
a mans problem can only be
-money
-family
-girls
If a guy isn't happy with a girl, it's probably because the girl is too attached to them ..
stop worrying your little head off and let him spend some time with his friends and see what happens?
hope it helps,
take cares (:
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A
female
reader, GABINATOR  +, writes (9 June 2008):
OKay well it's obvious there's something wrong and it's not wrong in any way to assume so. I was in a relationship like this for 1 year. We were actually together for almost three but the last year we spent like that. The relationship had come to an ending yet i didnt want to believe it... he didn't want to hurt me. Yet its better to hurt before than a year later right? RIGHT! it killed so much and that was like 5 months ago.. we've tried being friends but it just work like that. Hunny listen if you can't find a man who will love you unconditionally and tell you everything then he is not a guy for you. It's better now than later.. and i know love is probably whats holding you back, but it's obviously not being reciprocated. Sorry and good luck. BE STRONG!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey.. thanks for your advice, the thing is though everytime I try to talk to him about it he gets quite awkward with me and avoids the questions then he just starts to get angry.
I know I still love him but I dont think he feels the same anymore and is just too afraid to tell me however I cant be sure and with him not talking about it.
He must have realised lastnight how upset he made me when he said he didnt want to walk me down to my car because he was too tired as I got a text when I got in saying "I do still love you. Night xxx" when normaly I get nothing at all!!But I do find the words he used quite strange like he meant I do still love you BUT... But then again it might just be me!!
And by nothing at all I mean i'm lucky if I get 1 text a week and 3 phonecalls!! I'm also quite worried he might be cheating on me although he said he would never do this as he has started to talk about me quite critically (emphasising bad points) and never has money in his phone(he puts in £30 a week roughly and it's gone very quickly and he does not text/phone me often or his friends.) He said it just disappears but I find this unlikely..
I have no idea I gues I'm just going to have to try and talk to him again!!
xx
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 Relationship problems are very often a result of things that both parties may be doing that are causing friction, loss of interest, withdrawal etc...but that doesn't mean you should start blaming yourself or thinking you've done something 'wrong'. If your man has had a significant 'change' in behaviour it is my guess that something is going on for him - it may be about him, you, work...it could be anything...but you need to try and get him to open up about what he's feeling. That's the first thing..because saying he wants to be with you but then withdrawing from you more and more is pretty confusing for you....
have you guys been through any big changes or stressful events lately that may be impacting? Ie: moving house, family member ill...new job...
try not to freak out until you know abit more...you're right to be concerned from what you describe but give him the opportunity to talk with you about it...be careful raising the issue, because you're feeling vulnerable/anxious you may approach him in a way that stops him wanting to open up...so think before you speak and try to listen without interjecting/putting across your point of view too much initially....that will hopefully be a start!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2008): I have been in the EXACT same situation as yours.You can't keep think that it's something YOU have done to make this come about. You'll just do your head in and it's just unhealthy. Try to talk to him about it. Tell him these things that you have noticed and asked why the relationship has turned out like this. There could be something going on in his head that's making him act that way, but it's NOT something that you have done. It's hard to face it, but relationships DO change and feelings change over time as well. Tell him what YOU need in the relationship and that how it's changed has upset you. In my relationship, I had to come to grips with the fact that our feelings for eachother have changed. This might not be the case with you, but this is what's happened to me. It took me a long time to confront this fact, but in the end I decided I needed someone who was affectionate with me and really wanted to be with me. Maybe if you put these ideas towards him, he'll realise he might be losing you. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (9 June 2008):
 You need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss exactly where the relationship is going and how you both feel about ehch other. He says he wants to be with you, yet there is no affection between you two. There seems to be an underlying problem which can only be worked out if you both sit down and talk.
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