A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:recently when i watched the trya banks show[lesbians it was about on this episode] i have been wondering to myself are you a lesbian!but to me i aint cuz i have a boy friend and stuff!so now im wondering if im a bisexual becuz when i was small,my aunt,everytime i use to come by my grandmom,she use to bring me into her room and perform sex on me.And now as i was a young child growing up it have affected me but i never showed it or tell anyone else apart from my family.But recently in the year i told about 3 of my friends and a teacher that.But whiles growing up,whiles it kinda way affected me,my little sister i did the same thing to her,now i feel really bad,cuz i will feel so bad,if she ended up like me and do sumone else that.And now im thinking to myself,if i can have sumthing like that with my sister,which is a girl,do you think im a bisexual.But truely i dont have feelings for girls,i jus messed up in the past!***someone give me advice on how to move on and also tell me how should i tell my boy friend that?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (28 August 2009):
 I understand that you want to tell your boyfriend, but really that should not be your primary concern. You say you've already told a teacher. That was a good first step, although I don't understand why this teacher has not, so far, acted on this information. Does your school have a counsellor who might be more supportive? Anyway, the next step must be to tell your parents and to go to the police.
The way to tell your boyfriend is to tell him, that when you were younger, something bad happened to you, something that was not your fault, something that is still affecting you and that you want to tell him because you don't want it to poison your relationship. Then tell him what your aunt did to you.
And remember, this is NOT something you did, it is something that was done to you against your will. You are not even fully to blame for what you did to your sister, because clearly you are too young even now to understand the extent of this issue.
But please understand that need to work through this with professional help. This is NOT something you can cope with by yourself or with the help of an online forum.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDO ANYONE KNOW HOW TO TELL MY BOYFRIEND
THAT...PLEASE?
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A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (27 August 2009):
You are not bisexual. You were sexually abused and then went on to sexually abuse someone else (although you were probably far too young to understand this). You need to seek out professional help to work through this. You also need to report your aunt to the police. She needs to be held accountable for what she has done to you.
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