A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a male friend who is in the air force, he´s stationed in Alabama. I met him 1 year ago in one of his TDYs. Since then we´ve been keeping in touch as friends by email and for special holidays on the phone. He´s married, but we have never touched any topic relating to cheating. He talks about family although I haven´t met his wife, I do feel like awkwardness addressing about her since he reveals general stuff only and says he wants to keep it to himself.The other day we talked on the phone for his b-day and I mentioned a friend of mine visited his town in a diplomatic duty and she enjoyed a plane show in his airbase . He said yeah it was great , that they have them every year and maybe one of these days you can come in those diplomatic duties and enjoy the show also.I simply said, "yeah, If I ever have the chance to go". I don´t know I didn't felt anything wrong just politeness, but my friends say he´s trying to get me there. I really don´t feel he wants something shady and I´m not trying to get shady also. Am I been naive here or are my friends making up things? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): Hey everyone, just to advise to get the full picture the anon female person posted the following relating to her relationship to the same married man:on the 21 May 2009. “Is there anything wrong with being a long distance friend, to a married man?”“When I mention his wife, he changes the subject. Should I stop? 23 May 2009” (i did question whether this was her post as well, but did not get a response but i think it ties up)“Do you think he's shady or I'm just paranoid? 24May 2009Anon female, we have responded to you on this matter 3 times now and everytime you just post another one asking basically the same thing. The crux of this relationship is his wife not knowing that you have been in her husbands life for the past 2 yrs via email, telephonic conversations, facebook etc. You mention on the 21 May that your friends are uneasy about this so called friendship. They know you best so if they have concerns and you have posted 3 times something here is not right. What, pray do tell do you want, vindication for your relationship/friendship with this married man? You obviously want some justification. I think the aunts and uncles here should read all 3 posts and then perhaps understand the fixation/obsession you have with this relationship of yours. I think you know that your friends are right, i think you know that you are deluding yourself into a false friendship since this friendship/ relationship is getting out of hand. You are probing selectively in probing his relationship with his wife, you are intrigued to know more but he doesn’t want to divulge more info on his wife. I told you previously that you both want to act like she doesn’t exist so that this friendship ( or do i call it what it really is, an emotional affair) can be conducted without any feelings of guilt. By not acknowledging te wife you are fooling yourself, your friends have noticed your obsession with this MM , and now we all have as well.PLEASE READ THE 3 POSTS. I am certain i am not wrong . your friends, by this 3rd posts indicate that they are right to be concerned. the aunts and uncles here will also see the light once they link these 3 posts. Good luck
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (24 May 2009):
 Your friends are reading too much into this. It's not a crime to suggest that a friend see an air show. Technically he didn't even invite you. Now if he said, "we can watch the air show from my bed together" that would be a different story!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2009): More like you are trying to get him there, he just sounds platonic. Your friends are probably just wanting you to be realistic and not pine over some married guy you haven't seen in a year that contacts you infrequently.
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