A
female
age
36-40,
*aroline1
writes:My ex-boyfriend broke up a nearly seven years relationship (about 4 months now) because he was tired of everything, including me, two days later said that want to do his things and be with his friends, a couple of days later said that it was because with our jobs like that we never gonna do nothing abou us. He didn't let me talk about all this, just said he was tired of everything and don't want to talk.I said nothing more to him, he email me asking how i am and said that think about me but i was angry and damaged so i ignore him. 3 wees after that, we meet occasionally and talk like friends (never mencioned us) he wants to know what i've been doing, how are my family, all that, said to me that he have some sad days but some good days too...and ask me to stay with our cat while he goes in holidays to his parents house, i know that his neighbor and friend offers to stay with the cat but he wants to leave her with me instead (we don't live in the same village), when he goes on vacation i give him a letter, basically saying i was sorry for what had happened because I know we loved each other very much, but I could not stay bad forever, it was he who choses not me, ended saying that was the last time I told him I loved him.When he come to pick up our cat, told that the holidays were bored, gave me to understand that without me wasn't the same, in the end he asked me if I've been with a friend of mine who he has always been jealous and I told him not yet, he replied that “All but him, that would be very bad” later corrected to “No, better someone I do not know.” do not know why he told me that, anyway he said goodbye immediately.The other time was at the end of last month in my village, he was there in the beach with some friends, i found him alone because he got bored and wanted to be alone a little because “that place brings him very good memories”, but again was the first to say goodbye, it seemed bothered, embarrassed, anyway said he had liked to see me and go away.After that contacted me by email to ask for some pictures that supposedly he lost, I answer it but never get a reply, two days later (last week) sent me a picture of a book he found on the internet about my favorite writer and told me he had seen it and had remembered me, then he puts our first drawing made by him, in our second year, on facebook, from time to time he does this kind of stuff or ask me the name of a movie or things like that, give me the feeling of wanting to just get in touch with me, but then seems to repent. I talk to him as a friend who cares about him and nothing else, i never talk about us because i'm afraid, and he doesn't do nothing too.By his mother i know that he put pictures of us and mine back at home, that this weekend he was with his family but was sad and want to be alone for a while, he just sees family in summer holidays and usually it's all happy.. However also know that his grandmother asked him if he thought go back to me and he said no, but that also don’t want anyone else and was afraid that other person don’t love him. On the contrary I’m afraid of being with another person and not love like i love him.Do you think he is regretful?What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2012): After what I've read, it seems to me that he is in two minds about the relationship, but I do think he loves and misses you as you do him.
Maybe the demands of work and having too little time to do personal things you both like became too much and it got him feeling a bit down and stuck in a rut.
I would suggest just remaining friends with him and see how things go, maybe you both just need to take a step back and rediscover the qualities of each other that you originally fell in love with, and maybe in time you could both attempt to start again from the beginning.
I don't advise you to meet any other guys just yet, and more to the point, the guy he's jealous of because this will complicate matters more. Just remain focused on the broken down relationship and how it could be rebuilt.
You both sound like mature grown up individuals, I'm sure you both can come up with the best solution for the pair of you.
Good luck.
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