A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I recently re-met a guy I knew 20 years ago through Facebook. At first I wasn't that interested, but as we have been catching up, I am majorly crushing out on this guy. We swapped numbers, and sometimes send flirty texts, and often IM each other on FB. We also sometimes chat on the phone. We both admitted that we are really liking chatting to each other. A few weeks ago we were chatting late at night on the phone and (had both been drinking) and he told me he really like me. The next day he acted as if nothing had happened. I had a kaniption and basically told him to make up his mind because I didn't like playing games. After a week I was remourseful, because it was such an old friendship and called him to apologise. At this point he told me he wanted to be friends but didn't see a future for us romantically. I agreed (since I knew my anger attack ad ruined it and decided we should be friends too). Although I still really like him. He was awesome, within about 30 minutes we were back to being flirty and fun with each other as if nothing had happened. I got on with my life. We have a lot of mutual friends, and he found out about some dates I had been going on. He then contacted me by IM one night and asked me out on a date the next day. He had been drinking I think, so I took the offer with a grain of salt. I said yes, but couldn't go on the day he wanted to. He vaguely offered another day, but neither of us committed to it. I am playing it really cool. I am leaving it to him to contact me, which he does most days, either via text, IM or phone (and I am very receptive when he does). We still flirt with each other. But nothing more has been said of any more dates.Tonight I went out to dinner with a mutual friend of ours and as a joke posted on my FB wall about me not taking $50 dollars to go on a blind date with someone.Within minutes of me logging on to respond, he had IM'd me and was asking about the blind date. We were both sober in this conversation. We flirted a bit, solved a couple of world problems and then he logged off and went to bed. We have sooo much in common and he has an uncanny memory for everything I have said and some things we did as kids and loves recalling them. It freaks me out a bit. Do you think he likes me, or are we just friends, as he initially said after our argument and he is just being great about it all - not wanting to lose a 20 year friendship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): I think you should stick with your friendship. Don't do something you'll regret later because it seems like your friendship's still a bit fragile, since you weren't in touch for 20 years.
Take some time to see how the friendship thing progresses and then you'll know what's the best thing to do.
And, please, don't mind my English, I'm not a native English speaker. :)
Hope this helped!
-David
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Did you forget about the part where he said he just wants to be friends? Men are not as complicated as you are making them out to be...he would never have offered friendship if he had any romantic intentions with you. You have straight from the horse's mouth that he sees no romantic future with you so why are you asking people what he thinks online? You already know because he told you what he thinks. Men flirt all the time just to flirt.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Well at this point you are "just friends" as you are not actually dating. What he may want to happen down the track is hard to predict. I would however, take note of what he said about you two having no future together. You may have upset him and provoked him into saying this but then again he may really mean it.
So for now i think its best to only think of this as a friendship and nothing more. He knows you like him so the ball is in his court so to speak.
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