A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'd just like some help with figuring out if a man I've met is genuinely interested in me or is just trying to take advantage of me. We met a few months ago and he comes to my workplace most evenings in the week (not specifically to see me, but because he has to be there). In the last month or so, he has continually (as in every night in the week) asked if he can give me a lift home after work. When this first started happening, I wasn't so bothered about it and let him take me home.He has asked lots of questions about my interests/hobbies, told me I'm perfect and how good I look (to which I responded by laughing nervously) and has quite happily responded to me when I've asked similar questions back. We seemed to be getting on really well.He has not tried to touch me or do anything 'inappropriate'. He has two children. He has to pick one of them up after we finish work so I believed he was only offering to take me home because he wasn't 'going out of his way' to take me home. One night though he brought them both up to my workplace with him but still insisted on taking me home - with them in the car this time obviously. He asks me lots of questions about me and remembers things I've said in the past, he even seems to remember on a Monday what I told him on Friday and seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. I will happily admit that I think I am interested in him and I seem to be getting the same 'signals' back from him. Do I just take it that he wants to be friends or do you think he is interested in me or even just trying to see how far I would let him go/using me? It wouldn't make sense though, if he is using me, as he asks about my interests. I will also mention that he holds the car door open and closes it for me and apologises for how untidy his car is sometimes (his tools for work are usually scattered over the back seat). He is older than me. He seems genuine enough but because of my past relationship issues, I'm having real trouble deciding whether this man genuinely likes me/is just being friendly/is using me. Just want to know what you think so I can decide what to do about it. Thanks!
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female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (28 October 2010):
 Well, from what you tell me, he seems like a nice man who enjoys your companionship. However, I suggest you take your time to know him before starting a relationship. You say he's older than you and has children, well those can be bumps in any romantic relationship. But, here are signs a man is or is thinking about using you: the topic of sex or money sneaks in conversations. He's not very interested in dates that don't include drinks or your respective homes. He angers/sulks/pouts when you refuse him. He makes you feel guilty when you reject his proposals. But, when you give in, you're suddenly lovely and made to feel amazing. He contacts you for the sole purpose of getting something...continue as you are, keep a good friendship. After all, love is friendship caught on fire :) Now, it's always good to keep some of your guard up, especially when u first meet someone so don't let go of it too quickly. Absolutly no sex before a real relationship begins and no kissing until after an official date ;)
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