A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel so confused right now as I think my 35yr old bf is giving me mixed messages. We have been with each for 2 yrs in a LDR. We got a bit upset with each other the other week when we went out for the day. I took a phone call from a male friend and my bf wanted to know who it was but I didn't want to tell him as it was an occasion I was arranging with old school friends that unfortunately my bf wouldn't have been able to make and I didn't want him to feel left out.My boyfriend got a bit funny about it saying that he didn't mind if there were going to be other girls there but he didn't want me going out on my own with a guy on his own or a group of guys. I feel like I have trust issues with my boyfriend as earlier that afternoon he stated that he needed to go and use the toilet. He was gone ages. I happened to look up and noticed him in the bar across the alleyway laughing and joking on the phone to someone. When our eyes locked, he immediately dodged behind a pillar that was in the bar to hide from me. This is the second time that this has happened where he has acted like he has been 'caught' doing something he shouldn't. I think it is more his reaction to me seeing him that raises my suspicions more than the act of the phone-call itself! Do you think I should get heavy with him like he was with me and demand to know who he was talking to? I probably don't question him enough because I feel like I am being nosey and I think people should be allowed a certain degree of privacy.We patched things up before we left each other and a few issues came up about us hardly seeing each other because he is working so hard. He said we hadn't talked about the future much but he was working so hard because he wants us to move in together. However, I haven't heard anything from him since last Friday. I called him last night to see if he wanted to come out with my family at the weekend but I haven't heard anything. I keep thinking he is having an affair because I almost feel there is someone who is in the background that he has to check that he isn't seeing at the weekend before he agrees to see me because he waits until the last minute before accepting or declining the invitation. In the last 6 months he has blown me out on my birthday, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and several of our familys and friends events. On most of these occasions he has said he has been ill but there has also been a family feud (I know this is true) and saying he wouldn't be back in time because he had to work 100 miles away at the last minute because someone was sick at work. He leaves me with the feeling that he really isn't interested in me that much. Do you think he is having an affair?
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male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 TRUST YOUR GUT!
It never lies....
Yes he is cheating. His demands on you are classic examples of justifying his actions. If he was doing the telephone call at the bar prior to or right after he put these demands on you, you can sure as hell bet he is cheating.
LDRs rarely if ever work. believe me I tried it from 1000 miles away and it was a disaster that took me more than a year to begin to recover from.
im sorry this is happening to you, and regardless of circumstance, no one deserves to be cheated on.
Go find someone who will love you and respect you. Life is too effen short
Flush this turd
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