A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question. Why do some guys admit when they have done something wrong, but they don't do anything about it? This man I know admitted that he thought he had been treating me badly lately (he said that to me, and to a couple of his friends. he hasn't been contacting me as much), but he doesn't try to change. Is it because they don't care about you, or is it because they are ashamed of their actions, or is it something else ? I bumped into him this afternoon. He just started working nights this week, and he told me that he was tired, and was going home to sleep before he starts. He seemed in kind of a bad mood, but I couldn't tell if it was because of me, or if it was something else. I'm worried because, with him working night shifts, I will see him less, but then again, I'm not sure if i will see him ever again. He said he would text me tomorrow, but I don't know if he will. What do you think? What does it mean that he said that to me and his friends? He's also told his friends that he thinks a lot of me though. I want to know if he doesn't want to see me anymore but if he doesn't, I would rather he told me. If he doesn't want to see me, I'm not sure if that would be because of his job or something else. He said he needs to have a chat with me, but whether he will or not, I don't know.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 May 2011):
The answer is option 3: something else.
You forget that a man won't change for anyone but himself. That's why he's not changing - ultimately he doesn't want to change who he is. You can't make a man change for you - that's an impossible task.
If this guy knows that he's treating you badly, and won't change, then that means he doesn't care about himself, let alone you. And that means that you're really wasting your time on him, because he won't suddenly start treating you better.
I would insist upon that chat, and I would listen to what he has to say first. If you don't like what he has to say, then maybe the time has come for you to move on.
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