Do you guys think I did the right thing?

A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been with my girlfriend for only four months but it has been a fast four months. We have talked so much, gone on trips etc. And I am truly in love with her. She has always been pretty insecure about her looks, and she would ask me randomly if I love her etc, and she has a weird thing where she is super private. I have never been to her place or even know where it is. Weird I know. But anyways, it hurt me when she would have to ask if I really loved her (I told her all the time, and even bought her jewlery with it engraved on it) but she still asked so I told her that hurt me. It turned into a fight because her insecurities came out and it changed from me being hurt to me hurting her because I think she is a bad person, and I don't like things about her, and want her to change etc. Then she told me she feels worthless, and cheap. And when I tell her things like she hurt me it just confirms that in her mind. That floored me because I had no idea she was feeling that bad about herself. I feel awful about it and just want her to be happy again. So I told her I can't go on until things change. Mostly because I don't want to be a source of her bad feelings, and its not good for me either. I told her I want to help her work on it with her etc. and we will get through it. She said thats a good idea initially, so when we started talking again over the next few days, it was just regular talk, not about how we were going to fix things. So I asked her when we could do that in person, and she said just talking fixed things which makes no sense to me, because we have always done that and she felt that way. So we got into another fight because she just wasn't open to the idea of anything. Her plan is that there is no plan, she said just live life and it will sort itself out, but it hasn't done that by now so I don't think it ever will (she said the same problems were there in her last relationship too). I have suggested everything from self help books, to therapy, to talking to a priest (she is religious) but just nothing she is really into. So I said I can't take her back because I don't want to be that guy making you feel like crap, and being ok with you feeling like crap. I want her to feel good and equal. She went on saying I don't have unconditional love and I don't like the person she is. Its really one of the hardest things I have done but I can't live with that on my conscience and pretend everything is ok. But now I am sad and miss her like crazy. I have been tempted to text or call her but have resisted so far. I told her I will always be there for her, and will always care about her and she said thank you. but do you guys think I did the right thing?

View related questions: cheap, insecure, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010):

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A male reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 July 2010):

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