A
female
age
36-40,
*eltie
writes:I met my husband three years ago when we both were in different relationships.He was newly married and I was in a long term relationship. He is very good looking and girls would always flirt with him but he would say "sorry ladies I'm off the market" an laugh it off. One night we were out at a business event and after everyone left we stayed an chatted and had a few drinks. It wasn't long and we ended up kissing but he stopped it and said that we were both in relationships and we should go home which we did. The next week at work he was very distance so was I . But after a few weeks we started talking and flirting and things got complicated. Neither one of us wanted to be a cheater and we always stopped before anything happened but the flirting was intense and the conversations got personal. We kissed several times but ended it before things went to far. After a month of this he announced his split from his wife he told me that I was the reason he left. He said he told her he had feelings for me and that we kissed and things like that. I felt terrible I didn't want to be "that girl" shortly after that I switched jobs but ended my relationship with my bf. Two years ago we ended up working together again when the new company I worked for bought out the old company I worked for. As soon as we started working together or relationship turned on. We dated briefly , got engaged and recently married. I couldn't be happier and I have never felt so loved by some one as I do him. We leave notes around our house, text me I love you and good morning if he leaves early for work, send flowers for no reason, plans dates nights and make sure I always feel loved. But I have a few friends that will ask if I worry he will cheat on me . I try to think about it but when they ask it gets my mind wondering. Do you believe once a cheat always a cheat ?
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at work, engaged, flirt, flowers, I love you, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keltie +, writes (8 November 2015):
Keltie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both. Honestly deep down there isn't a ounce in me that thinks he would cheat. He has never made we feel like he was hiding anything. He gives me complete access to his phone , passwords , emails you name it there is no secrets. When he is home I am 100% of his attention and when we are working I see how he acts towards other girls and I dont feel threatened at all .
A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (8 November 2015):
No I actually don't believe that's true. Most people that are serial philanders might be examples of this proverb, but that doesn't mean that every person is necessarily like that.
I would suggest that if you see his love for you, and have no complaints regarding his behaviour, then pay no heed to whatever the others say. If he keeps you happy then there is nothing to worry about.
Only when you yourself find some behaviour suspicious ought it to be a red flag. Otherwise, simply be happy and joyful. :)
Another thing I want to add is that both of you acted honourably. When he realised that he felt attraction for someone other than his wife, he was truthful to her and ended his marriage. Rather than carrying on deceiving her. So that is admirable behaviour.
Don't let others' questions get to you. Let your happiness be a meter of the health of your relationship.
All the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): Ask yourself, will you cheat again? Remember, you both cheated on your boyfriend and his wife.
That is the karma behind cheating. Your ability to trust becomes a challenge. Stealing another woman's husband doesn't come without a price. However; he left her, and circumstances brought you back together. That means it was meant to be. The next time around, you were both free to pursue your feelings for each other.
I guess it's a 50/50 chance that either of you may cheat. I may cheat on my guy, he might cheat, others reading your post may cheat on someone they're committed to. It might be a first, or yet again. Who knows? Tell him you worry and you both can sort out the insecurity you feel. In this case, it was meant to be; even though guilt has crept up on you.
Be grateful for what you have and don't worry about it.
Anyone is capable of cheating, but sometimes you find the person right for you; and you value each others trust so much that you will not want to hurt them under any circumstances. You've found each other, and that's that!
Someone I loved very much cheated on me. I forgave him, and we remained together and maintained a loving and happy relationship until he died over 20 years later. I don't know if he ever cheated again, but he went out of his way to win my trust back. He won! There are habitual cheaters and they will cheat again. They have no moral compass. Unless he has a sordid history and reputation for it, you shouldn't worry.
Try not to worry over things that "might" happen, and be happy and content with what "is." You love each other.
You're married, and that's all that matters.
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