A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently discovered a very secret side to a good colleague and friend of mine. He’s a few years older than me at 35, not particularly good looking I would think, not really rich either. Just a regular guy (like me!). I knew for quite some time that he had a very active sex life which I was jealous of, often with many different women but what I didn’t know was how he went about it. When he told me, I was quite shocked, and didn’t know what to believe. He would simply ASK women if they wanted to have sex with him (!) He says that he would strike up a conversation with any woman, of any age, anywhere and very short into the conversation he would pop the question. I’m not talking about in pubs, cafes or clubs, but anywhere, in broad daylight! He’s had sex with a female taxi driver, a women who was gardening in her front garden who he asked for directions, a women who was walking her dog, several times with women who work in clothing stores, the list goes on and on.I was like WTF??? Didn’t actually believe him (and still don’t really) but he was being dead serious. He said that he wouldn’t use the words “would you like to have sex with me” but he would say something like “would you like to spend the next hour or so with me” or some other line implying exactly what he meant. Being polite was the key he said (?!?) I asked him of this didn’t get him into trouble cos I reckoned it really would. He said that of course many of them do get pissed off but not once did anyone threaten to call the police or husband or boyfriend. He said that the moment the response was negative, he would wish them a good day and then move on. Of the 10 to 12 or so women he would approach, at least 1 would be open to this!!I’ve known him for years and he’s a pretty good friend but I’m not so sure of his story. Be polite, direct and don’t beat around the bush, women don’t like that he said. The moment she doesn’t like what you’re saying, leave her alone!If it was the other way around, a female asking guys for sex, then yes sure, I would believe these little stories but ever since he’s come to this revelation, it’s been baffling me. Should I believe this? Would women really respond positively to this sort of approach?I said to him but isn’t this sexual harassment what you’re doing??? “No, it’s just a question, nothing more” was his answer. Well I'll be damned...
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jealous, move on, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, NennaHB  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 It is only once in my life that I would have said yes to a man asking me that. He was particularly attractive and the reason I would have said yes was that I would have mentally substituted him with my ex and at the end I would have said to myself:"You are not good in bed either." Thus moving on from my ex. It sounds mean and I am sorry.
In the end I moved on without needing sex with a stranger LOL
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): Women usually say they don't like this approach. But women also say they don't like arrogant jerks too, do you believe that?
Verbal feedback from women about what works on them is meaningless. If your friend's plan is getting women into bed in real life then that means it works.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2011): I think the approach might be so unusual, it might in fact work. We like surprises.
It depends a lot on the girl was well. I might have bitten at 20. Now days, I might laugh and tell him to have a nice life.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (19 August 2011):
 Indeed this works, but in my experience, perhaps not quite as brashly as you described. When the fairly direct approach worked for me, and still does on occasion, I'll invest more than just a few minutes in conversation before eventually asking either, "Could we go to your place?" or "Would you like to come over to my place?" Has worked many times over the decades.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011): Actually this does work. It is the same principle that sales men use. If you make enough calls, someone will bite. I don't know what the exact ratio is but when I have used it it seemed like about one in ten go for it. The problem was that often the quality was pretty low. That is why I quit using it. (that is not to say that I didn't get some very very good-looking women, because I did. Some of them it was totally out of character to do this and they were a little surprised with themselves)
There is nothing disrespectful about this. It is just a question and if they say no then that is the end of it. This is the 21st century, not the 19th.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2011): The key point is that "Out of 10 or 12 women he would approach at least one would be willing." That is over a 90% rejection rate.
He just lest rejection roll off his back and plays the numbers. It will work if you can take that much constant rejection. Most guys (and girls) can't take anywhere near that much rejection.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 August 2011):
 Could work, if he's got charm. Then again I am sure he gets his share of rejections as well, he just needs to ask new women until he gets a response.
But, why jealous? Your friend is a wh%#e, why would you want to be like that, no offense? Have some self respect and don't impregnate a random woman/catch a STI, and you've have done yourself a favour.
But, women do like the direct approach when it comes to most things. Despite what you may think, we don't read minds, and like it if a guy can be honest and up front about what he wants. Honesty will get you a long way, no matter if it is relationships you want or sleeping around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): Wow i find that ridiculous, i´m a girl and i´d never ever go with that, i think every woman that does must be really desperate, sorry if thats too honest but that must be the case! either that or he´s lying.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): Hm, this is really interesting. It is hard to believe all of his stories are true, however he is not saying every woman accepts, he said 1 in 12 and that is possible, I guess. He must be going around asking A LOT of women, lol. I can't imagine any woman would say yes if a complete stranger just asked her for sex, but there are all sorts of women out there, some of them with a completely different mind set and moral values than mine.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): Why wouldn't it work? A lot of women out there are open to have sex with a man they have sympathy for, they often fantasize about it. They also respect honesty. Many of them say no because it's not socially accepted and they're afraid of being labelled, but if you ask politely, there's a chance you find some confident women who are open to have some fun.
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A
female
reader, jul1993 +, writes (18 August 2011):
I'll be damned also! Im a young women and if anybody said that to me i'd tell them where to go polite or not. I think your friend is either catching the women who will do anything to get some or hes not letting you in on it all.
You seem like a nice guy and you're probably more than capable of catching a lady in a more respectable way. As nice as your friend is, dont do what he's doing because as fate would have it you'll probably get it in the neck with some beefy husband if you try.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2011): I know from friends of mine that yes, this does work. Actually, the 1 in 10 ratio is about right. My friend has said if you ask 10 women in a bar if they want to fuck, you'll get slapped 9 times and laid once.If your goal is to get laid, I suppose this is fine. But you will be sleeping with the skanks, not respectable womenI only ever asked about 2 women that directly, and it was only because of the circumstance. One girl was a friend who didnt want to drive all the way home because she had drinks. I only had one bed, so I asked "where am I gonna sleep" with a smirk. Worked like a charm. The other girl, we were in a field and she said something like "do you think anyone lives near here?" to which I said "why...do you think they'll see us rolling around naked?" Worked pretty well too. Its just not my style to offer it out thre like I'm offering a stick of gum. I think it's disrespectful to women. I wouldnt be jealous...you'd undoubtedly be making many trips to the pee pee doctor. Plus my friend has stalkers, countless psycho ex GF's and once had a husband shoot his car. Not worth the trouble.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (18 August 2011):
i wouldnt believe all of what he says maybe one woman has agreed to this and he is exaggerating to make himself sound good it all depends on the women hes approaching really some women like the direct approach and others don,t
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