A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I just had this thought and it made me wonder,do sparks die down after a certain point in a relationship?do men get bored of their girlfriends?how do u maintain these sparks?I know some of you will say,if your in love it will never die down,but I think you need to get real,you do get a little bored after a certain time..how do u maintain these sparks?any ideas?
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (31 January 2013):
 i don't think anyone who knows what they're talking about would ever tell you that love will never die down. of course it does.
when you first meet someone that you connect with, your brain releases chemicals that make your body respond with those "sparks" you're talking about. but just like any other drug (because love IS a drug), the longer you "use" it, the more tolerance you build up to it. so physiologically speaking, your body eventually develops a tolerance to the chemicals produced when you are around the person you're with, so that the longer you're together, you eventually no longer feel that "spark" or "high" anymore. or at least as much. this is why couples break up and get back together so much. because when they break up and don't see each other for a while, their tolerance goes back down. and when they see each other, that spark comes right back. so they convince themselves they're still in love and get back together. just to run right back into that brick wall they hit so many times before where the spark dies out again. then they break up again, and it's a bad cycle.
anyway, to answer your question, i think it's unrealistic to expect that you'll be able to maintain that spark forever. what you can do, however, is make sure you still plan date nights, or still do romantic things for each other every now and again. keep the romance alive. married couples can renew their vows every handful of years, etc. and for me, personally, i just want a best friend. someone who i can sit around and laugh and joke with all the time. that's the most important thing, in my opinion. because yes, those sparks will die out. and when they do, i want to know that i get to spend the rest of my life laughing my ass off with my favorite person in the world. anyway, buy him tickets to see his favorite band, or plan dinners at special places every once in a while. good luck!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 January 2013):
 yeah they do.
it's not boredom. It's comfort.
sparks will come and go
relationships wax and wan.... and then you hit a "falling in love all over again" spot and it's great... then it's comfortable again...
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