A
female
age
41-50,
*igerDawn
writes:Please tell me if there are still any real men that want to date real women. Maybe I should clarify not everyone shares the same idea of a real man.A man who is tough but would never hurt a women. A man that knows how to carry his weight in the household rather it be cleaning, fixing, mowing, taken care of business. A man that loves deep, not just the surface. I realize everyone is not perfect, I am not perfect I make mistakes and have my faults. But that is just it if its a mistake then you dont have to lie or cover it up. Doesnt play games to keep it interesting, genuine and a best friend.I have been long term relationships, engaged, and never married because it just turns into a bunch of lies and junk. I have forgiven, and forgotten to only find it happens again. I had a question yesterday "no love in sight". And this is part of my heart ache with finding my mate.
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female
reader, TigerDawn +, writes (14 August 2010):
TigerDawn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone who commented. My feelings at the time putting this out there have changed from your comments. I do really need to broaden my perspective.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): in my view, there is no GOD here. So all are humans you and your mens. Obviously you have so many EGOs, emotions, attitude and expectations and so as every other man in the planet. As you are searching a Real man, may be so as he is searching perfect women. My advice for every person is containment and it is the only thing that can make you happy. Life is only a problem of Glass Half full or glass half empty. you will never have all you desires fulfilled and at the same time, every one in the planet has so many things to be happy about and be satisfied with life. It all depends on you what you do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Yes there are plenty of real men out there. Im dating one. Hes not at all what i would have considered my type. But hes a real man. Dont stop looking just broaden your scope.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): I see what you mean, and in no way meant to imply you were superficial OP. Just that the things you listed were. I just find the concept of a 'real' man to be flawed. Just like the concept of a 'real' woman is flawed.
My overall point was basically to take a chance with some guys that you wouldn't necessarily think are your type. You could be pleasantly surprized. Either way, your past relationships were down to a bit of bad luck and probably your choice in men. See if you can find a pattern in these guys, are they similar in some way? what is it that attracts you to them etc?
If you do find a pattern break it, try something new and have fun with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Cerberus pretty much sum it up....nothing more to say.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Cerberus - Touche' there isnt enough space to complete my "ideal" man. I am not superficial, and you are right I do need to change the "type" of guy I date.
I would like to say that this question did go a little south. When I say tough, the smallest person can be "tougher" than a large one. I have been in an abusive relationship with a man who was "tough" to me, but would run from everyone else.
As for the mowing, cook and cleaning my point is if you cook and clean I will mow. I just dont want to have to do it all while you do nothing. If you are going to ball game dont tell me you are going to your dads because you know that you dont help and do your fair share. This is what I was trying to say. Thank you for assessing my question and my choice of words.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2010): Nope, there are no 'real' men, just men. Flawed, human males that can make mistakes, do stupid things or just not be able to live up to someones preconceptions of what a 'real' man is.
There are men that are like what you describe, with all those traits but perhaps you need to broaden your definition a little. If you keep getting hurt by the guys you choose then it might be better to find a guy that doesn't fit perfectly into your mold but has flaws that you can live with.
Perhaps in your search for your mate you've missed perfectly good, loyal guys that were right in front of you, but perhaps weren't tough enough for you or weren't very good at fixing stuff.
You say you're not perfect, no one is, maybe you're looking for something that doesn't exist because you've limited your scope by having a list of things that guy must be able to do/be to be a 'real' man.
I consider myself to be a man, even though I'm not tough, I'm small in stature and I prefer to solve disputes with my mind rather than with my fists, I'm not going to win many fights but I haven't needed to since I was in high school. I can clean, fix stuff and take care of business but I hate mowing the lawn. Now I have the feeling you wouldn't consider a guy like me because I'm missing some of your prerequisites of what a 'real' man should be.
In your list of things you consider a real man to be, you left out a lot of things I'd consider to be important traits for any person. Emotional stability, intelligence, mental fortitude, reliability, loyalty you mention nothing but physical attributes and actions. Your list is completely superficial and yet you expect this superficial 'real' man to be capable of deep love.
Perhaps you should re-examine what your looking for and why you want these traits. Because even though you didn't list them those are the very traits that make a person 'genuine'.
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