A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Question for men.. do men realise they really like someone after they get dumped??May sound like a silly question but I had to break up with someone I really like because he wasn't sure about whether he wanted a relationship, just wondering if men wake up to the fact that they are really into someone when that person isn't there anymore because the girl becomes unavailable again and men enjoy the chase. Obviously it depends on how much he likes me but is it human nature to want what you can't have? Any opinions would be appreciated. Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): just wanted to say thanks to all those who answered..
we were doing really great to begin with but I think I may have moved too fast for him.. its probably pointless speculating but at times like these you do drive yourself crazy wondering what went wrong.
thanks again.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hi there anonymous. Well, there is no single answer for men in the same way that no single answer is appropriate for all women. That said, there are some men who find it more difficult to understand and measure their feelings. Like/love/happy/adore/sex/fun/friend/desire/ all kinda get mixed up into one nice feeling. When there is a break - it helps them understand their feelings a bit more. So , yes sometimes they do understand their feelings better AFTER the relationship has ended.
Occasionally breaking up is a test as well - if they have doubts about the depth of the womans love - "if she comes back,then she really must love me.If she doesn't then she didn't love me enough and it wouldn't work."
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (30 October 2007):
 Hello.
From my point of view, if a person does not want to be in a relationship, they do not want to be in a relationship, there may be a good reason for that, he could have had a bad relationship and was not over it at the time, and did not want to hurt you, it could be that you said you loved him too soon and you scared him off, it also could be that his feelings towards you were not as strong as yours towards him, i could write a list that goes on and on but that would take years.
It goes back to you, it is you who wanted the relationship, but he did not so now you think that he will regret this move, afraid when some one does not want a relationship then you cannot force then into it.
There are also times when a relationship is going to fast and one person may want to step back, and view the situation
then a short time apart gives then time to breath and then they make a decision, but if they have parted then one will try to get back with the another, i now this sound daft but it is human nature.
I believe there needs to be on both sides an under standing, when two people get together and hop into bed one or the other thinks that they are instantly in love, this of course is not true, the act of sex is not always an act of love especially if it is a stranger, sex is one emotion that you cannot rely on to feel in love.
there are i think a couple of rules that help, trust is one of the biggest issues, truthfulness, honesty, reliability, caring for each other, wanting to share your lives together, respect for each other all these thing put together, then your love for each other, that is why a lot of relationship fail to many people just rush into bed and have no feeling but a sexual urge and as we all should now when that is satisfied, end of relationship.
you must not forget that we are all complicated humans, some have more feelings than others and we are all different in different ways that why life can be so complicated some times because we are all complicated beings but if we were all the same how boring would life really be.
I hope this helps you and do not give up on men, i hope this reply is not to long, i am a bit of a romantic myself.
Good hunting, good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): Its just one man.
Its rejection he can't take and wants to come back and prove he is good enough.
He needs to learn to drop this behaviour.
Else he be chasing you
all the way to the Alter to be dumped.
Plus there is sex withdrawal.
Thats why a man nearly always has an affair to end a relationship. Because he can't stand being without sex inbetween.
Women can just walk. Its something men need to learn to be able to do.
Good Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2007): If he wasnt sure if he wanted a relationship,then i dont think he really liked you enough.We are all different,but dont build all your hopes on this person.If he`s only in it for the chase,then rest assured he`ll soon be chasing sommeone else.
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