A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 10 months but we moved in with each other shortly after we started dating. I sometimes think that wasn't the best decision because he hadn't ever lived on his own before and i had for almost 7 years. I think sometimes he feels like he missed out on things although i know he loves me dearly. But a few times he has lied aka not told me something that he said to different girls through text or stupid myspace. He went out to visit his friend in a college town which I think since he is 25 now that he doesn't need to be doing that stuff anymore. Anyways, he talked to some girls on his phone and stuff and never really responded to me and said he didn't have good reception. I saw on his phone recently him talking to the same friend asking when they could party. I asked him randomly if he has been thinking bout hanging out with that friend in college town and he lied straight to my face till I told him I knew otherwise. He said this weekend that he was going out of town for work cuz he is a carpenter and gave me a very convincing story with names of people and area is going but I saw online that the college town is having a st. patty's party tonight.. coincidence? not quite sure. I have started trusting him again but the last time something happened I completely opened up and told him that it was the last straw and he said he didn't want to mess up our relationship that he really cares about me and loves me. It's hard for me to trust people to begin with.. so do I?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): thanks for your input..he really is a good guy, but i have had a lot of trust issues..stemming from relationships in the past that i have gotten cheated on and lied to. He knows this and i don't want to make him feel like he constantly has to be looked at like my exes..i know he loves me..i really don't hang out with people often. I just don't have good relationships with females so when he wants to go out, which i'll be honest isn't that often, sometimes i feel jealous. He actually likes staying at home spending time with me. It's hard for me not to smother i guess. Maybe if i let him know that it's alright that he does his own thing but keeps me in mind. Since he has been gone this weekend he has religiously text me without me getting a hold of him. so thanks again
A
female
reader, rorowes +, writes (21 March 2009):
 I have trust issues myself, and I know how you feel. He's lying to you, and that betrays trust in itself. Why does he feel the need to not let you in on what he's doing? If he feels like he still wants to hang out with the boys, that's fine, he just needs to be honest with you. Maybe he feels like you won't approve. If you told him that he's too old to go to college party's, that could be a reason. He has to be allowed to hang out with the guys, and you should have girls time as well. Don't smother each other, it can lead to resentment, and the end of your relationship as you know it. I hope this was helpful.
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