A
female
age
36-40,
*arksGirl07
writes:I have a boyfriend I have been with for a year and 3 months. Recently, we both deleted our "Myspace" accounts, because he (my boyfriend), wrote to another girl (one he has gotten pregnant long before I met him, She had an abortion), and he said to her in the email "Do you have a man because I am very interested". He said he was sorry and deleted his account, and he also said "he didnt even know why he emailed her, he was not interested, just mad about me going out to the bars", which I haven't/hadn't been to a bar in along time! Anyway, should I stay with him? How do I trust him again? I am so scared he might talk to her again because she contacted him first. Please someone give me some advice! Thank you!
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female
reader, pro-life +, writes (26 August 2008):
dont forgive him because their are still feelings there when ur sleep in the bed and he's in the kitchen or when your away at work or school he's talking to her. this happened with me and my ex we had an abortion and then we stopped talking and now he calls me and i call him and we still love eachother even though this was months ago and he told his girlfriend that he doesnt talk to me when in reality he wants to still be with me but i refuse to do that to his girlfriend so even though he's saying he loves u if she gave the smallest hint that he could come back and that she wanted to try it again before the dime dropped he would be over their simply because when you are connected by a baby the feelings that you have toward each other even though th baby might listen to me i know im going through it dont trust him
A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 Sorry, my mistake * myspace instead of facebook and
* emailing instead of texting
:)
Half asleep! Sorry!! xx
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24 +, writes (26 August 2008):
Why have you deleted your facebook account? Did he tell you to? Coz in that case you've just given him control over you.
It seems that he's basically blamed you for him texting his ex by saying that it's coz you go out to bars. You're allowed to go out, hunny!
I'm sorry but what I'm going to say is probably not what you want to hear, but I'm saying what's best for you in my opinion, you don't have to take my advice.
I, personally, would have kicked his ass to the kerb if he told me that he emailed his ex girlfriend with "I'm interested" and then told me it was coz I went out sometimes! I'd have made him make the effort to get me back and if he didn't, it would prove that he was just an asshole and be glad that he was out of my life.
I understand that maybe he's been good in the fact that he's deleted his myspace and everything and it shows that maybe he's going to sort himself out but I'm unsure of how you'd trust him again because if you stay in this relationship, you'll be looking through his phone and thinking that everytime you're not together, he'll be with another girl - you will feel insecure. If he has made you delete your myspace because he thinks you've cheated and you've done it, this shows his control over you and believe me, you do not want to be controlled because you will be twisted round his little finger and you won't be able to pull away. Why should you have to change your contact with friends or what you for because he's been deceitful? The only reason he's made you do this, if he has made you do this, is because he's been up to no good and due to his insecurities, he's expecting you to do the same. Trust is the foundation of a relationship... but if you don't trust him, and he doesn't trust you... where's this relationship heading?
So my advice to you is break up with him and if he's really sorry for what he has done and makes an effort to get you back then maybe you can build the trust up again. If he doesn't make an effort then kick him outta your life and you're on the first step to moving on and finding someone who'll respect you.
You're worth more than this, hun. He had his chance, he blew it, make him work for this relationship instead of you trying to smooth it over in your head - you want to see him trying for you and then you'll know whether you can trust him or not and whether there is still hope left for your relationship. Why should you do everything to make things right?
Take care, hun xxx
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