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age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, I just started chatting with a guy online who is a Marine. I consider myself fairly intelligent but when it comes to knowing things about being in the service, I don't know anything. My ex-husband talked to me about him. He also knows that I have ADD and sometimes have trouble processing certain details. We are still friends and he is very smart so while I was messaging this guy he was telling me what to say to him. I must mention some years ago my father and my ex must have had a conversation about him being in the Marines, which I never knew so I feel a little left out because my dad never shared that with me. We were close when I was little and I wanted to tell this guy about him and when I did he was so impressed. So anyway, my ex was coaching me and I had to call him a few times to ask him what to say to this guy. He is very handsome and he is very proud to serve in this country and of all veterans. He said he gets a little lonely sometimes because he doesn't have a woman in his life.We discussed taking it slow as friends and see where it goes from there. We also shared some of our personal interests and he sounds like he is a well rounded person. He wanted to know if I would date a guy who is a Marine and I said yes. I feel guilty for not being able to say my own words because I wanted to impress him. I want to tell him the truth. I am a bit conflicted about it but I want to be honest with him. Should I tell him? Any advice would be appreciated.
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female
reader, R1  +, writes (3 November 2013):
 I wouldn't worry about it. Chatting online is just a way to arrange a date, no one knows if they like someone till they meet them in person. Meet up, see if you like each other and if it works out explain about your difficulties.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 November 2013):
 I'm with BrokenV
Then thing is though, stop trying to "know" stuff you don't know.
Don't try and impress with knowledge that isn't yours, because it isn't WHO you are.
As you get to know him I would tell him about the ADD. I would not really go into details about being coached by an ex. That makes it sound like you are still WITH the ex, and from NOW on you should be YOU, not say what your EX think the guy wants to hear.
Take it slow. Be who you are.
Date a guy for who he is, not what job he is doing.
And honestly, not knowing a lot about the Marines is no shame. My husband served in the Army for over 26 years (16 of those while we were married) and there are PLENTY of stuff I don't know about the Army, and the military in general. No shame. A friend of mine is a podiatrist. I have little knowledge of feet and ankles but we are still great friends :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2013): I don't think you should be dishonest to this man in anyway.
I hope you are being upfront and not leading him on.
I hope you will be totally transparent about who you are, less the details that wouldn't be safe to share with a stranger.
Would it be safe to assume your post was also coached? It seems pretty coherent and to the point.
These service men are lonely and have been through a lot. I hope you haven't withheld your true age or offered him anything misleading about yourself.
He should be able to decide how he feels about you when he gets to meet you, not by what he's told on the internet.
Be careful in any case.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (3 November 2013):
I think it is great that you and your ex are friends and he is very supportive. It would be no different if I had called a girlfriend or one of my guy friends to assist me in a conversation or seek advice. I think you are making a big deal about that.
I think you need to tell this guy anything until you start seeing him. You can tell him you have ADD and at times have a tough time processing things but I don't think you need to any deeper then that. You are speaking with him through electronic devices and this relationship is in the beginning stages.
Take your time and enjoy this flower as it blooms.
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