A
female
age
36-40,
*exel
writes:I was staying at a friend's house after a long night of drinking, she went to bed and passed out leaving me and her boyfriend together.We were casually talking and all of a sudden he tries to kiss me. I had bruises up my arms where he was holding them and scratches on my wrist from his nails. He managed to give me a love bite. I told him no several times and he stopped but kept coming back and doing it again.It's not the first time he has tried it, it's happened once or twice before but never to that extent.Do I tell her and even more to the point, do I tell her what extent he went to? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lexel +, writes (22 April 2009):
lexel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionKlara to answer you're questions, i don't have any sort of feelings for this guy. I was stuck in a bit of a rut as i was staying at this friends house, quite a bit away from my own. so I couldn't really leave.
As for it happening on occasions before, it was just things he said and drink fuelled fun while my friend was with us, so thought nothing of it.
Obviously I haven't been back since and haven't spoke to my friend so she will be wondering what's going on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Let's reverse this for a second:
Of you had a boyfriend who was making violent passes at a friend of yours who obviously trusts you (enough to leave you in a room alone with her man) would you want her to tell you?
"bros before hoes" first of all.. for lack of a better saying. Just turn "bros" into "friends" and "hoes" into "boys". lol.
Basically, respect your friend and tell her what is going on. Don't let her ignorantly be with someone who is acting this way behind her back. And also, make sure she is ok. If he has been abusive to you in this way, isn't it reasonable to fear that he has done much worse to her?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Always tell your friends what you know their partner does.Always.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (22 April 2009):
 Tell her exactly what you told us. Do it privately and be prepared for her reaction. But stand your ground. When she gets over the shock and anger and betrayal she's going to feel, she will be glad you shared it with her.
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (22 April 2009):
 You must tell her everything. You seem to be in a dangerous situation and its important you feel safe.
Maybe next time he won't stop at a kiss.
This has danger written all over it.
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