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Do I tell him that I was intimate with another guy?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2013) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 April 2013)
A female India age 30-35, *p367235 writes:

I don't know where to start with but...

I after finishing 12th always wanted to have a loving and caring boyfriend...when I entered B.tech i stayed at the hostel where i found that almost every girl is committed to someone...I too wanted to have a relationship...so I started talking to my old 12th friends...then I talked to a boy named amar .. he was young and charming...we talked late uptill 4 am...and when I asked him to get committed he said he will have to think about it...

later I realised that it was only me calling him and he was never calling me so I stopped calling him for a few days ..after a few days he called me...we talked a little..than again when I asked him about the answer he sent me a message that" sorry" . . .

later i started talking as a friend to amar's friend manhar...he started developing feelings for me..and he told me about amar that he was having a relationship with a girl named sweety from std 11th...in the mean time in college i started talking to a friend named pranav..he proposed me and threatened to kill himself if i said no..I had to say yes but later we had a few sex talks as well..later he suffered a serious health problem and we no longer had conversations as he left the college...I moved on with manhar..pranav still abuses me..well being with manhar I realised that I can not tell him that I proposed his best friend amar...so I broke up with him but was not able to give him any excuses...

I used to talk to a boy named kamal as well...but decided to tell him everything about my past....i told him everything except the sex talk with pranav...we maintained a relationship for almost more than 2 years...but later I realised that my mother and kamal's family are having problems with our relationships..moreover..."surya" kamal's elder brother too liked me and proposed me ...I told kamal about this and he said tell him no...I did that...but still I thought it would be better to go away from his life....

....

than came "abhishek ", I thought to break up with kamal I would have to get committed to abhishek..and I did that..although my intentions were just to go away from kamal life so that he forgets me and get a new girl...L involved a close friend "shadab"...in all this conversation...

i broke up with kamal..but 6-7 days later I still wanted to be with him but I thought to stay with abhishek as because it would be cheating him...I stayed with him..later I discovered that abhishek was a very bad boy and he forced me to kiss him , and also to increse intimacy with him...he wanted to have sex with me..he almost touched my whole body....and when it was all too late and untolerable I tried to break up with him...but he threated to tell everything to my mom...and he did that...my mom asked me although I convinced my mom that he is lying..now its almost over with abhishek...and I still love kamal...In the mean time I turned my best friend shadab into a foe..Kamal wants me to come back in his life after the 7 months relationship with abhishek , he too suffered and tried alcohol once but has left alcohol forever..And I know I was the reason behind all this...I have told him almost everything except the intimacy part..I feel guilty..I don't know what to do...I want to go back but I know it won't be the same as it used to be..should i tell him about intimacy part...what should I do..

View related questions: best friend, broke up, std

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (15 April 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntYou realy need to take a break for these guys and figure out what you want.

You cannot be moving from one guy to the next just because its covenient, you will also end up with a bad reputation.

If you have not had sex with any of the guys, there is no need to mention the kissing and touching session.

I strongly suggest you be sure of your heart and mind before you get involved with the next guy. Know your heart and what it wants and then consider a relationship. If you so scared of the word getting out that you make out with all the guys, I suggest you dont get involved until you trust the guy 100%.

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