A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Everything is a bit of a mess really lol.im going to tell him how i feel, how he's making me feel etc etc. I dont know what we are. Seeing each other, the next friends - with him saying 'for now/not ruling it out' and then theres been a few things that make me think 'what the?'. to me it says he still has interest. but then others says he doesn't. when i finally do see him i was going to lay it all out. I haven't been well (health wise) and with that and all this is, ive been a bit of a mess! lolI was going to tell him: (he was my first - he knows it)'''i started to regret having sex with you and that it was a mistake. i dont want to think or feel that at all. I dont want to regret it. The way your acting is not helping. makes me think you were just after one thing'''im aware that theres a good chance he wont care, and good chance that he was just after one thing. He tells me 'i care about you too' and 'you can tell me, im here'... he's hot one minute, cold the next. i can't read him.Would it be a bad idea for me to say that?its not meant in a mean way..just how ive been feeling. and so he knows how he's making me feel. it will be said with a lot of other stuff as well thats been going on. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Having sex should be 50-50 Both making the decision to do it. You can NOT put that on him. IF you regret having sex with him, then that is on you. It's not like a pair of shoes that when you get home you find ugly and can take back.
Basically DON'T have sex unless you feel ready.
You need to talk to him and actually listen to him. If the two of you started out as friends then it turned sexual and now he wants it back to friends then it really doesn't matter what you say to him. You can't make him have a relationship you want with him, unless he is willing.
If you want more then tell him, just understand that he might not.
If you can't be friends or GF/BF then you need to move on.
But telling him you regret making him your first is just not right. If you tell him you regret having sex, because it ruined the friendship and didn't make it a relationship I think is a better way to say it.
Good luck,
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